#2 (permalink) Wed Jun 28, 2006 19:08 pm TOEFL essay sample: With the advance of technology... |
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Hi,
I have made some suggestions in your answer IN CAPITAL LETTERS
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With the advance of technology and science, food can be prepared in a short time. It seems convenient for people to work or play more rather than to spend a lot of time on eating food. However , the other side of coin means the negative impact on the way people live. Among them are the two predominant ones: reducing communication time and causing no enough nutrient.
First, BECAUSE food is easier to prepare THAT means dinner can be finished quickly. It is apparent that people would not employ/USE dinner time to share their minds/OPINIONS and communicate with each other. This can cause the/A situation in which people are unfamiliar with each other and keep to themselves further/EVEN MORE. In/TO my mind , Chinese people would like to have a dinner with close friends or familiar/NEAR neighbors on some festival days, for example , the spring festival .Nevertheless , due to greater fierce competition and A faster pace of society, people are more willing to select fast food because they view/CONSIDER time TO BE so valued/PRECIOUS . The more valuble they consider IT, the less they will spend on food. Thus the vicious cycle appears.
Second,THE FACT THAT food is easier to prepare means this kind of food cannot provide enough nutrient/NUTRITION for you . Take McDonald for instance, this fast food chain supplies a lot of calories for consumers. It is not surprising when the recent bad news emergeS around the world . The recent investigation indicates that the fat and other components in fast food are highly/CLOSELY associated with (the) heart attackS and other severe diseases /SERIOUS ILLNESSES. AN expert once pointED OUT that Chinese and Japanese food are the most suitable for people considering the delicate recipe and various vegetables . Many doctors also suggest that slow and enough/SUFFICIENT chewing benefits the absorption of nutrients in THE stomach, especially for children.
From the discussion above , we conclude that fast food is not the preferred option considering the negative sides . Though food has become easier to prepare , we should avoid the way we eat because it cannot make our health and life style better. |
Alan _________________ English as a Second Language You can read my ESL story Present Simple |
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Alan Co-founder

Joined: 27 Sep 2003 Posts: 13891 Location: UK
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