TOEFL essay sample: Fatherhood ought to be emphasized...

[gianglt]

TOEFL essay sample

"Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up."
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

On our long way of the life, we sometimes see very strange things. One of them is the saying about solely responsibility of mothers for bringing up their children. And of course, I would like to have some arguments against this opinion.

We sometimes see situations, when women decide whether or not to have babies themselves. It is mainly because of their economic conditions: new young wives get low salaries, and they are not confident to have a baby. They sometimes have problems with their health, and the birth of babies is postponed. It is never because of their egoistic willing.

Taking care about children is not only the duty, but also the honor for fathers. Each baby has his or her family's root. In our country, last name of babies definitely is like their father. Babies' names are written in family's tree of their fathers, not their mothers. In other words, children belong to their fathers' big families.

Furthermore, nurturing children is not only feeding them, taking care about their health, what is mainly mothers' duties, because of their natural abilities. It is also protecting children in their life, helping them in their studying. Thus complex duties can't be done well without cooperation between parents.

Growing in a happy family with the care of both mother and father, a child could become a fully developed person, who is fulfill of health, knowledge, kindness and is helpful for the society.

In short, fatherhood and motherhood have same level of importance to their children, and both parents are responsible for bringing the children up.
_________________
Lam Giang

[Alan]

Hi Lam Giang,

I have made some suggestions in CAPITAL LETTERS: