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TOEFLŪ essay sample: If you were asked to send one thing...



 
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TOEFL essay sample: If you were asked to send one thing... #1 (permalink) Tue Jul 11, 2006 1:36 am   TOEFL essay sample: If you were asked to send one thing...
 

TOEFL essay sample

Topic:

If you were asked to send one thing representing your country to an international exhibition, what would you choose? Why? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.

Essay:

My country is China which has a long history and many splendied inventions. Among

these, Chinese medicine should be the first one to be displayed on the international exhibition. It has been know for its amazing treatment in

some cases. I will explain why I choose this east meadicine to the international exhibition as

following.

The first reason is that Chinese medicine brings us unbelievable treatments. It has

been the only one methods to cure sick people for thousands of years in China.

It use herbal plants acupuncture and massage to treat diseases,

seemed too simple and outdate in our eyes, but it is still one important way to

provide patients positive treatment, especially for those who is cured with hopelessness by

west medicine. In fact, a good example of this is that Hairuo, a famous female

host of Phoenix Broadcast in Hong Kong, cured by Chinese medicine. After she got

accident in British sevreral years ago, she was sentenced to be dead-brain

by West doctor. But her family wanted to keep her, then they invited Chinese medicine

doctor to check her situation and got hope from these doctors. Now she is

recovering, and she is learning speaking, walking, talking. In this sense, Chiese

medicine is really amazing and unbelievable medicine.

The second reason I want it to be the international exhibit is that I hope it can

get more attraction and more research in future. Nowadays, Chinese medicine is

shrinking in China due to its effects. Compare to West medicine, Chinese medicine

takes a longer time and more complicated processes to deal with diseases. But

in our modern world, people like everything efficient and convenient. Also, I

want it to be known by more doctors and patients. Because it may give them hope,

and it is worth to try. If it disappears someday, I think it is a huge lost for our Chinese people and our world. We

don't know how many treasures we can uncover in it. It might have killed viruses in future, which

we can't beat by using west medicine, if it got enough research by advanced

technology.

For these reasons I mentioned above, I strongly recommend that Chinese medicine

should be sent to the international display. What could be more important than

curing patient and saving lives in world, and clearly nothing else can be more

significant than this. To be more effective and improved, Chinese medicine should

be kept and researched by advanced science.

TOEFL listening discussions: What seems to be the student's main skill?
Quing
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Posts: 15

TOEFL essay sample: If you were asked to send one thing... #2 (permalink) Wed Jul 12, 2006 8:12 am   TOEFL essay sample: If you were asked to send one thing...
 

Hi quing,

I have made some suggestions in CAPITAL letters:

Quote:
My country is China which has a long history and many splendied /SPLENDID inventions. Among

these, Chinese medicine should be the first one to be displayed on the international exhibition. It has been knowN for its amazing treatment in

some cases. I will explain why I choose this east meadicine/MEDICINE to/FOR the international exhibition as

following/FOLLOWS.

The first reason is that Chinese medicine brings us unbelievable treatments. It has

been the only one methods/METHOD to cure sick people for thousands of years in China.

It useS herbal plants acupuncture and massage to treat diseases,

seemed/IT SEEMS too simple and outdateD in our eyes, but it is still one important way to

provide patients WITH positive treatment, especially for those who is cured with hopelessness by

west medicine/THOSE WHO ARE UNSUCCESSFULLY TREATED BY WESTERN MEDICINE. In fact, a good example of this is that Hairuo, a famous female

host of Phoenix Broadcast in Hong Kong, cured by Chinese medicine. After she got/HAD AN

accident in British sevreral/IN BRITAIN SEVERAL years ago, she was sentenced/PRONOUNCED TO BE BRAIN DEAD to be dead-brain

by A WestERN doctor. But her family wanted to keep her, then they invited A Chinese medicine

doctor to check her situation and got hope from these doctors. Now she is

recovering, and she is learning speaking, walking, talking. In this sense, Chiese/CHINESE

medicine is really amazing and unbelievable medicine.

The second reason I want it to be IN the international exhibitION is that I hope it can

get more attraction/ATTENTION and more research in future. Nowadays, Chinese medicine is

shrinking in China due to its effects. CompareD to West WESTERN medicine, Chinese medicine

takes a longer time and HAS more complicated processes to deal with diseases. But

in our modern world, people like everything efficient and convenient. Also, I

want it to be known by more doctors and patients. Because it may give them hope,

and it is worth to try/WORTH TRYING. If it disappears someday, I think it is a huge lost/LOSS for our Chinese people and our world. We

don't know how many treasures we can uncover in it. It might have killed viruses in future, which

we can't beat by using westERN medicine, if it got enough research by advanced

technology.

For these reasons I mentioned above, I strongly recommend that Chinese medicine

should be sent to the international display. What could be more important than

curing patientS and saving lives in THE world, and clearly nothing else can be more

significant than this. To be more effective and improved, Chinese medicine should

be kept and researched by advanced science.



Alan
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