GRE® essay sample: The most effective way to communicate...

[Lovboy]

GRE essay sample

"The most effective way to communicate an idea or value to large groups of people is through the use of images, not language."

The ability of a single picture to convey the meaning of a thousand words is a well known undeniable fact.Signs and images have been the oldest medium of communication since time-immemorial.This is the primary reason why I agree with the author's view that images can reach a massive group of people and convey more than what words or languages can.Right from a suckling baby to a man nearing the state of oblivion, signs and images can penetrate into the hearts and minds of human beings, thereby providing a means of effective communication.

Communiation has evolved over the years and still is in the process of evolving.It is a never ending perennial process. It has played a key role in the transforamtion that has occured since the "big bang".Communication now, is a wide branch of study comprising thousands of internationally accepted languages and million of dialects and patois.Nevertheless, expressions like frowning during disappointment and smiling during rejoicing is a universal expression for one and all regardless of his nativity.

Apart from a few languages like Greek, Hebrew and Latin, most of the other modern languages have evolved from other older languages.Before these languages came into existance, during the period of the "Neanderthals" and the "Pre-Neanderthals", there was very limited ways of communicating with other people.It was through pictures and images that feelings were expressed.Even today we can see huge numbers of ancient drawings and figures in olden caves and other prehistoric sites.These together with sign languages were responsible for the evolving of various languages.

In the sophisticated modern world that we live in, time is a major constraint.Not many of the working class people have the luxury of persuing the wordy details to understand the gist of what is being said in the newspapers, advertisements and magazines.It is the flashy images or pictures that catch the eye of a person browsing the material.Moreover, in a country like India, where there are multitudes of languages, publishers don't have to worry about choosing the right kind of language if he resorts to express himself with images. This is the reason why marketing professionals give more importance to graphics, pictures and images rather than verbose textual content.

Moreover, while targetting an international audience, by using a particualar language, the content will most certainly evade several people of the world. This is the priamry reason why international organizations first used "logos" in order to reach a wider range of people all over the world.Signs and images of the "Red Cross", "UN", "The Olympic Sign", makes sense to a larger group of people.It has also been proved scientifically that the human brain is more receptive and sensitive to the pictures and symbols than to texts and auditory signals.

An expressive image can instill more feelings and arouse more action from a person than words or language.For example, an image of a captain holding a coveted world cup or in another case, an image of a ghastly disaster will entice or incite immediate sentimental feelings and reactions.In fact, not just humans, but even the animals are reactive to pictures and images.Images do not have an age bar, images do not discriminate sex, caste, race and nationality. It is by far the best medium of communication when the interest of the entire world is to be taken into account.

[Mister Micawber]

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Hi Lovboy. This is a new essay to me, so I will give you my initial comments about underlined segments in the brackets that follow them:

The ability of a single picture to convey the meaning of a thousand words is a well-known undeniable fact [The word 'undeniable' to the reader is like a red cape to a bull-- the reader is bound to find some way of denying the statement, and you immediately lose your credibility. Delete it. 'A picture is worth 1000 words' is just a proverb; it is not a fact. Don't exaggerate, the reader will always catch you at it. Delete it]. Signs and images have been the oldest medium of communication since time immemorial [Redundant: 'oldest' = 'since time immemorial'].This is the primary reason why I agree with the author's view [First, remember that the essay question is not part of the essay, so you cannot refer to any 'author'; second, using the first person singular pronoun instantaneously makes an essay less formal, so 'I' is a good word to avoid. The essay itself IS your opinion, so you do not have to state 'I agree/disagree' at all.] that images can reach a massive group of people and convey more than what words or languages can. Right from a suckling baby to a man nearing the state of oblivion [These phrases are mannered, lexical overkill (as is 'time immemorial')-- 'from youth to old age'; 'from children to senior citizens'. Be clear and direct. Styling is for novelists.], signs and images can penetrate into the hearts and minds of human beings, thereby providing a means of effective communication.

Communication has evolved over the years and still is in the process of evolving [Too much verbiage for such a self-evident statement. Cut it down drastically, or say more.].It is a neverending perennial process. It has played a key role in the transformation that has occurred since the "big bang" [What big bang? You lost your reader. Explain.].Communication now is a wide branch of study [Off-topic] comprising thousands of internationally accepted [Off-topic] languages and millions of dialects and patois. Nevertheless, expressions like frowning during disappointment and smiling during rejoicing is a universal expression [Core sentence: 'expression is a universal expression'! Please fix the syntax and semantics.] for one and all regardless of his nativity [What is the referent for 'his'?].

Apart from a few languages like Greek, Hebrew and Latin, most of the other modern languages have evolved from other older languages [-- and Greek, Hebrew and Latin didn't? How odd. Better review your history of language]. Before these languages came into existence, during the period of the "Neanderthals" and the "Pre-Neanderthals" [No quotation marks], there was very limited ways of communicating with other people.It was through pictures and images that feelings were expressed.Even today we can see huge numbers [Off-topic and probably incorrect] of ancient drawings and figures in olden [archaic adjective; save it for your first poem] caves and other prehistoric sites.These together with sign languages were responsible for the evolving of various languages.

In the sophisticated modern world that we live in, time is a major constraint. Not many of the working class people have the luxury of pursuing the wordy details to understand the gist of what is being said [This is so wordy that it goes in a circle and comes back again. The reader becomes angry if forced to read too many words for too little gain. 'Too busy to read' will do nicely here; nothing more is needed.] in the newspapers, advertisements and magazines. It is the flashy images or pictures that catch the eye of a person browsing the material [Again, this phrase is excess wording; delete it]. Moreover, in a country like India, where there are multitudes of languages, publishers don't [Do not use contractions in formal essays] have to worry about choosing the right kind of language if he [What is the referent for these pronouns?] resorts to express himself with images. This is the reason why marketing professionals give more importance to graphics, pictures and images rather than verbose textual content.

Moreover, while targetting an international audience, by using a particular language, the content will most certainly evade several people of the world [Uh, would that be my brother-in-law and his family? That's 'several people']. This is the primary reason why international organizations first used "logos" [No quotation marks] in order to reach a wider range of people all over the world.Signs and images of the "Red Cross", "UN", "The Olympic Sign" [No quotation marks-- please review their use in your grammar book or online], makes [What is the subject of this 3rd person singular verb?] sense to a larger group of people. It has also been proved scientifically that the human brain is more receptive and sensitive to the [why 'the'?] pictures and symbols than to texts and auditory signals.

An expressive image can instill more feelings and arouse more action from a person than words or language.For example, an image of a captain holding a coveted world cup or in another case [wordy], an image of a ghastly disaster will entice or incite immediate sentimental feelings and reactions.In fact, not just humans, but even the [why 'the'?] animals are reactive to pictures and images. Images do not have an age bar, images do not discriminate against sex, caste, race or nationality. It is by far the best medium of communication when the interest of the entire world is to be taken into account.

Overall, your essay is well organized with good examples and a clear line of reasoning. Having an example in the final paragraph tells me that, if it is a conclusion, it is not a very good one.

You have a tendency to wax literary, and that should be avoided; an opinion essay should be and seem objectively presented. I fixed a lot of spelling mistakes (and probably missed more-- I was not really looking for them), so use your dictionary or spellcheck more often.

Please leave two blank spaces after a period. No spaces makes the writing difficult to read.
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Native English teacher at Mister Micawber's