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TOEFL essay sample: What are the characteristics of...



 
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TOEFL essay sample: What are the characteristics of... Sat Jul 15, 2006 20:44 pm  TOEFL essay sample: What are the characteristics of...
 

Helo, Alan! Hello, everybody!

Would you, please, rate my toefl essay? This is my first essay, so any suggestion would be more than helpful.
Thank you in advance!

TOEFL essay sample

We all work or will work in our jobs with many different kinds of people. In your oppinion what are some characteristics of a co-worker (someone you work closely with)? Use specific reasons and examples to explain why these caracteristics are important.

It is a well known fact that, nowadays, people spend more time in a week with their co-workers than whit their families. Therefore, it is essential for everybody to have a good relationship with their co-workers.
I, personally, believe that a co-worker should be an honest person, should have good comunication skills and should be optimistic.

First, honesty is the foundation of any good relationship. Nobody can work with a person who cannot be trusted. Being surounded by honest people at work can make you feel confident and can improve the quality of your work.

Second, a good co-worker should have good communication skills. It is very important for a person who works in a team to be able to express his oppinions and his ideas in a coherent manner. This helps avoiding many misunderstandings that might occure.
On the other hand, a person who has no difficulties in comunicating with others is usually more sociable, which is very helpful when it comes to build a good and strong work team.

Last, but not least a characteristic of a person you work close with should be optimism. Not only an optimistic person makes the others feel the same, but he also in creating a very pleasant environement.
Moreover, someone who is optimistic would probably find sollutions and solve problems easier than a person who usually tends to see only the dark side of things.

In summary, an honest, optimistic and gifted with good communication skills person makes us feel confortable with the idea of spending so much time of our life in his company.
cl_2005
New Member


Joined: 15 Jul 2006
Posts: 1

TOEFL essay sample: What are the characteristics of... Sun Jul 16, 2006 21:09 pm  TOEFL essay sample: What are the characteristics of...
 

Hi cl_2005,

My suggestions are in CAPITAL letters:

Quote:
It is a well known fact that, nowadays, people spend more time in a week with their co-workers than whit/WITH their families. Therefore, it is essential for everybody to have a good relationship with their co-workers.
I, personally, believe that a co-worker should be an honest person, should have good comunication skills and should be optimistic.

First, honesty is the foundation of any good relationship. Nobody can work with a person who cannot be trusted. Being surounded by honest people at work can make you feel confident and can improve the quality of your work.

Second, a good co-worker should have good communication skills. It is very important for a person who works in a team to be able to express his oppinions and his ideas in a coherent manner. This helps avoiding many misunderstandings that might occure/OCCUR.
On the other hand, a person who has no difficulties in comMunicating with others is usually more sociable, which is very helpful when it comes to buildING a good and strong work team.

Last, but not least a characteristic of a person you work close with should be optimism. Not only DOES an optimistic person makes/MAKE the others/NO ARTICLE feel the same, but he also in creating/CREATES a very pleasant environement/ENVIRONMENT.
Moreover, someone who is optimistic would probably find sollutions/SOLUTIONS and solve problems easier/MORE EASILY than a person who usually tends to see only the dark side of things.

In summary, an honest, optimistic PERSON WHO IS (and) gifted with good communication skills person makes us feel confortable/COMFORTABLE with the idea of spending so much time of our life in his company.


Alan
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