Funny or polite euphemisms

[Conchita]

A funny euphemism I once heard in a film was: 'Have you moved your bowels today?' (some patients were asked this by a nurse in a hospital ward).

And how about 'to assume room temperature' for 'to die'?

I also found these interesting:

- ‘Hair Distribution Technician’ for ‘pet’ (it could be a cousin of ‘Executive Snack Route Consultant’ or 'Media Courier')?

- 'You've got Windows on your laptop' for ‘your fly is undone’

- 'He/she has a great personality' for 'he/she is ugly'

- 'To powder your nose' for 'going to the bathroom'

- 'Sanitation worker/engineer' for 'garbageman/dustman'

Have you got any you’d like to share?

[Alan]

Hi Conchita,

What a wealth of expressions you've found. I can only come up with a rather cruel one referring to someone in the world of entertainment who's not very goodlooking. They are described as having a radio face.

Alan
_________________
English as a Second Language
You can read my ESL story Present Simple

[Yankee]

[Jamie (K)]

There are tons of euphemisms.

Two other ways to tell someone his fly is open (probably the most common where I come from) are, "Your barn door's open," and, "Having company?"

When someone is scratching his derriere, we often point it out to him by saying, "Going to the movies?" Generally, he will stop scratching then, but if he doesn't get the message and says, "No, why?" we tell him, "Because you're already picking your seat."

"I have to wash my hair that night," means, "I won't go on a date with you, you have no chance with me, and never call me again!"

When I was a very small child, if my father said, "See if you can pull a Cadillac out of there for me," I knew he wanted me to stop picking my nose. This was just his own eccentric saying.