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TOEFL sample essay: Some people pay money for the things...



 
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TOEFL sample essay: Some people pay money for the things... Wed Jul 26, 2006 17:37 pm  TOEFL sample essay: Some people pay money for the things...
 

TOEFL Sample essay

ESSAY TOPIC

Some people pay money for the things they want or need. Other people trade products or goods for what they need. Compare the advantages of these two ways of obtaining things. Which way do you prefer? Explain why.

Both, trading goods or products or paying money for what you need, have their own set of advantages. Trading of goods or products is beneficial mainly when you have an excess of something and would prefer to exchange the excess goods in return for things you want or need. This is useful when the goods from a country are exported to some other country and are traded for goods from that country. For example, many merchant ships travel with a bulk of goods on board from one country to other country for the soul purpose of trading. Hence, this exchange flourishes trade between different countries and the goods produced in one country can be made available in some other country. Such trading of goods also enhances the cultural interaction between the countries.

On the other hand, the usage of money to get things you want or need is advantageous since it eradicates the dependency on the availability of right set of goods or products for exchange to get the things we need or want. For example, if we need an apple and have an excess of oranges, we will prefer to trade oranges in exchange for apples. However, the other trading party may be already having an excess of oranges and would not be interested in carrying out the trade. Hence we need to keep searching for compatible partners for trading. This introduces a need for a standard currency which can be used to get the things we need irrespective of the interests of the trading parties. Another advantage of a standard currency is that we need not carry the goods along with us every time we need to buy something we need. If you do not have anything to trade for, the use of money or currency is lot better buy things you need as it eradicates the dependency on availability of goods.

I believe that it would be beneficial if we use both the options according to the situations. If I have an excess of particular goods or products and I am aware of a trading party which is interested in the trade, it is better for me to trade goods for what I need. While, If I do not have an excess of any goods or I have do not have sufficient time, I would rather go for paying money to get the goods I need than hunting for interested trading parties.
diffindo_duke
New Member


Joined: 23 Jul 2006
Posts: 3

TOEFL sample essay: Some people pay money for the things... Thu Jul 27, 2006 9:35 am  TOEFL sample essay: Some people pay money for the things...
 

Hi diffindo_duke,

You'll find my suggestions in CAPITAL letters:

Quote:
Both, trading goods or products or paying money for what you need, have their own set of advantages. Trading of goods or products is beneficial mainly when you have an excess of something and would prefer to exchange the excess goods in return for things you want or need. This is useful when the goods from a country are exported to some other country and are traded for goods from that country. For example, many merchant ships travel with a /THE bulk of goods on board from one country to AN other country for the soul/SOLE purpose of trading. Hence, this exchange flourishes/PROMOTES trade between different countries and the goods produced in one country can be made available in some other country. Such trading of goods also enhances the cultural interaction between the countries.

On the other hand, the usage/USE of money to get things you want or need is advantageous since it eradicates the dependency on the availability of THE right set of goods or products for exchange to get the things we need or want. For example, if we need an apple and have an excess of oranges, we (will) prefer to trade oranges in exchange for apples. However, the other trading party may be already having/MAY ALREADY HAVE an excess of oranges and would not be interested in carrying out the trade. Hence we need to keep searching for compatible partners for trading. This introduces a need for a standard currency which can be used to get the things we need irrespective of the interests of the trading parties. Another advantage of a standard currency is that we need not carry the goods along with us every time we need to buy something we need. If you do not have anything to trade for, the use of money or currency is A lot better TO buy things you need as it eradicates the dependency on availability of goods.

I believe that it would be beneficial if we use both the options according to the situation(s). If I have an excess of particular goods or products and I am aware of a trading party which is interested in the trade, it is better for me to trade goods for what I need. While,/ON THE OTHER HAND If I do not have an excess of any goods or I (have) do not have sufficient time, I would rather (go for paying) PAY money to get the goods I need than hunting/HUNT for interested trading parties.


Very good.

Alan
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Thanks Alan! Thu Jul 27, 2006 12:52 pm  Thanks Alan!
 

Hi Alan,
Thanks a lot for commenting on both the essays. I will certainly pay more attention on the sentence formation. I have my TOEFL test tommorrow ! I hope all goes well. Smile

Thanks,
Diffindo_duke.
diffindo_duke
New Member


Joined: 23 Jul 2006
Posts: 3

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