#2 (permalink) Sat Aug 05, 2006 18:20 pm TOEFL essay: Recreation through sports or art, benefits... |
|
|
Hi hema,
My suggestions are in CAPITAL letters:
| Quote: |
Today our life has become very stressful and workloded/WORKLOADED/OVERLOADED WITH WORK so we really need some kind of recreational activities through which we can make our life somewhat stressfree. There are different kindS of recreational activities,THE choice of which depends on THE individual as everyone has different choices, like playing sports or admiring nature by painting. There are indefinite advantages of such activities.
Sports/SPORT is a very good way of recreation and also improtant/IMP[ORTANT in our life. Playing sports is benneficial/BENEFICIAL for our health and gives A soothing effect to our mind. we feel very energetic, relaxed and well fit. Usually, we play in a team which improves our communication skills and also helps to develop social relations with other people. It also help to sharpan/SHARPEN our mind and increase our knowledge.
Art is a creation in which we can express our feelings. However, it is not possible for everyone to reveal their feelings through art instead they can enjoy arts by famous artists. We have art museums almost in each city, we can enjoy art in those museums. seeing art or creating it, is a very effective way to relieve our stress. It also gives us (a)piece of mind. I really beliEve that through art we appreciatE natural beauty.
lastely/LASTLY/FINALLY, sports as well as art are good recreational activities which, indeed, we need in our life. Even though both are beneficial to us I would like to copE (up0 with my stress through sports because as I mentioned above there are few people who are able to creatE an art/A WORK OF ART, others just enjoy it by watching and I come under the second catagory OF people. |
Remember the first letter in the first word of a new sentence is written with a capital letter and so is the first person singular I
Alan _________________ English as a Second Language You can read my ESL story Present Simple |
|
Alan Co-founder

Joined: 27 Sep 2003 Posts: 13891 Location: UK
|