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elf-­confidence is the most important factor for success in school or at work.



 
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One more writing for IELTS writing task 2, thaks in adavnce for checking. | People should know the events happening around the world
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elf-­confidence is the most important factor for success in school or at work. #1 (permalink) Thu Aug 02, 2012 4:06 am   elf-­confidence is the most important factor for success in school or at work.
 

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Self-­confidence is the most important factor for success in school or at work. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Guidebooks suggesting that high self-esteem leads to success in business or school have become popular in recent years. While it seems obvious that low confidence in one’s abilities can hinder one’s career, being self-confident is only one factor in advancing professionally or academically. In my view, it can easily lead a person to neglect other important traits.

People that are too confident may overestimate their experience, skills and talent in an area. Consequently, they may end up working less hard than others that rely less on their natural talents. In the end, over-confident students or employees may score lower in a test or have less desirable results in a project than their peers. Also, confident people may be more likely to take on tasks that are too difficult or large for them to handle. All of this may increase the chances of confident people to fail rather than succeed.

Another point is that confident people tend to relay on their own skills instead of networking with other people or request help from experts. In today’s complex work environment it is impossible to be a specialist for everything yourself. It can endanger success to make all decisions yourself rather than getting the help of a subject expert first. Additionally, knowing influential people can be more important for progressing one’s career than confidence, skills or talent.

For staying successful long-term it is vital to deal well with change. It can be harder for people very confident in their knowledge and skills to stay open-minded about new developments. After all, this means accepting the fact that these skills may be outdated or obsolete in the future.

In my view determination, networking skills and the ability to adapt to change are important complements to self-confidence to achieve one’s goals. Not only low self-confidence can be a hurdle for a career. Being too self-confident may be equally harmful.

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Katisss
You can meet me at english-test.net


Joined: 15 Apr 2012
Posts: 65

Re: elf-­confidence is the most important factor for success in school or at work #2 (permalink) Wed Aug 08, 2012 2:03 am   Re: elf-­confidence is the most important factor for success in school or at work
 

Hi, your writing is, as always, very good. I think you might try to stretch with your vocabulary and make your writing a bit more precise and flowery. I actually prefer your down-to-earth and easy to understand style, but I think using some more advanced language and sentence structure would help your scores.

Katisss wrote:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Self-­confidence is the most important factor for success in school or at work. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Guidebooks {"guidebooks" sounds odd here - I have only seen guidebooks used to describe tourist guides for foreign visitors - "self-help books" might be better} suggesting that high self-esteem leads to success in business or school have become popular in recent years. While it seems obvious that low confidence in one’s abilities can hinder one’s career, being self-confident is only one factor in advancing professionally or academically. In my view, it[over confidence] can easily lead a person to neglect other important traits.{"traits" is not entirely correct here}

People that are too confident may overestimate their experience, skills and talent in an [particular] area. Consequently, they may end up working less hard{"diligently" might be a good word here} than others that{I always like using "who" to refer to people} rely less on their natural talents. In the end, over-confident students or employees may score lower in[on] a test or have less desirable results in a project than their peers. Also, confident people may be more likely to take on tasks that are too difficult or large for them to handle. All of this may increase the chances of confident people to fail rather than succeed.{"people failing rather than succeeding" sounds better to me}

Another point is that confident people tend to relay{sp} on their own skills instead of networking with other people or request[ing] help from experts. In today’s complex work environment it is impossible to be a specialist for{for is incorrect here but I am not sure what preposition would work - maybe "it is impossible to be a specialist in every subject yourself"} everything yourself. It can endanger success to make all decisions {"every decision" sounds better} yourself rather than getting{"soliciting" would be a good word here} the help of a subject expert [in the subject] first. Additionally, knowing influential people can be more important for progressing one’s career {"progressing one's career" sounds a bit odd - "advancing" would be better} than confidence, skills or talent.

For staying successful long-term {this could be stated more elegantly - "for establishing a long-term track record of success ..."} it is vital to deal well with change.{this could be stated more elegantly as well} It can be harder for people [who are] very confident in their knowledge and skills to stay open-minded about new developments. After all, this means accepting the fact that these skills may be[come] outdated or obsolete in the future.

In my view determination, networking skills and the ability to adapt to change are important complements to self-confidence to achieve {"in achieving" sounds better} one’s goals. Not only [can] low self-confidence can be a hurdle for a career [ success] . {comma} Being too self-confident may be equally harmful.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the professor mention Mona Lisa?
Luschen
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Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 7032
Location: Nashville TN, USA

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elf-­confidence is the most important factor for success in school or at work. #3 (permalink) Wed Aug 08, 2012 4:06 am   elf-­confidence is the most important factor for success in school or at work.
 

thanks for the flowery word suggestions.
I thought soliciting is begging for money, maybe that is why i stay away from the flowery words.
Katisss
You can meet me at english-test.net


Joined: 15 Apr 2012
Posts: 65

elf-­confidence is the most important factor for success in school or at work. #4 (permalink) Wed Aug 08, 2012 13:14 pm   elf-­confidence is the most important factor for success in school or at work.
 

Hi, soliciting can mean begging - it depends on the context. You can always say "solicit help" - it is sort of an idiom.
Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 7032
Location: Nashville TN, USA

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