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formal statement of either fact or opinion; maxim; pronouncement; saying
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misnomer
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another importance of diversity!:) help my friend:)luschen! tks so much



 
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another importance of diversity!:) help my friend:)luschen! tks so much #1 (permalink) Thu Nov 15, 2012 2:45 am   another importance of diversity!:) help my friend:)luschen! tks so much
 

hi, luschen, nice to meet u, this is the essay of my classmate:) she set up her account on this web but have not received confirmation, so, she asked me to post it to be checked!:) please help her!:) tks so much!:))

The importance of biodiversity is being more widely recognized as increasing numbers of species come under threat. What can be done to maintain biodiversity?
In recent years, the number of species has declined at an alarming rate, causing the extinction of various animals and plants. Some argue that this loss is apparently a part of natural process; hence there is no point adapting any methods to maintain biodiversity. However, as far as I am concerned, prohibition against trading endangered species and establishment of nature reserves are remedies that can be taken to solve this problem.
One feasible measure is to prohibit people from commercializing threatened animals and plants. In fact, an ever-increasing number of species are being excessively exploited to serve the humans’ commercial purposes. According to CNN newspaper, killing black bears for their bile has occurred in many countries such as China, US and Canada. This is a major factor leading to a dramatic decline in the number of black bears. As a matter of the fact, government urgently inhibits people from trading endangered animals and plants; also, impose heavy punishment on those who have over-exploited these species.
Another remedy to address this concern is that nature conservations for threaten species should be expanded. It is reported that there are only 1600 pandas left in the wild, the reason for this is the curtailment of their habitats, bamboo forests. Hence, to minimize this loss, endangered animals and plants need to be transferred to nature reserves. Living in conservations, these animals can be offered adequate food and habitation, more importantly, they can be protected from being poached.
All things considered, from my perspective, it is vital for humans to make a concerted effort with a view to maintaining biodiversity. Authorities necessarily prohibit people from over-exploiting endangered species for commerce; additionally, nature reserve needs to be expanded on the larger scale.

TOEFL listening lectures: How would the professor most probably categorize Shinto?
Impossibleme
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Joined: 17 Aug 2012
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Re: another importance of diversity!:) help my friend:)luschen! tks so much #2 (permalink) Thu Nov 15, 2012 4:25 am   Re: another importance of diversity!:) help my friend:)luschen! tks so much
 

Hi, you two must go to an excellent school, or at least have an outstanding English teacher. This essay is very good. You have a good structure and relevant and specific examples to back your arguments. You do not really have too many outright errors, but you do have some word choices and sentence structures that could be improved. I think I would rate this a 4 out of 5. It might be better than that, but I need to give you a little room for improvement :)

Thuytrangenglish wrote:
hi, luschen, nice to meet u, this is the essay of my classmate:) she set up her account on this web but have not received confirmation, so, she asked me to post it to be checked!:) please help her!:) tks so much!:))

The importance of biodiversity is being{"becoming" is better - oops, I guess this is the prompt!} more widely recognized as increasing numbers of species come under threat. What can be done to maintain biodiversity?
In recent years, the number of species has declined at an alarming rate, causing the extinction of various animals and plants. Some argue that this loss is apparently a part of [the] natural process;{or "is apparently a natural process"}{I would use a comma here} hence there is no point [in] adapting any methods to maintain biodiversity. However, as far as I am concerned, prohibition against trading {this sounds a bit odd - you would have to say "enacting a prohibition against ..." but it is more concise to say "prohibiting trading ... and establishing nature ..."} endangered species and establishment of nature reserves are remedies that can be taken to solve this problem.
{try to use a better transition here, like "To begin,"} One feasible measure is to prohibit people from commercializing threatened animals and plants. In fact, an ever-increasing number of species are being excessively exploited to serve the humans’ {"humans" sounds odd unless you are comparing us to other animals or talking about our biological systems - I would say "society's" or "humanity's"} commercial purposes. According to CNN newspaper, killing black bears for their bile has occurred in many countries such as China, US and Canada. This is a major factor leading to a dramatic decline in the number of black bears. As a matter of the fact, government {which government? try to be more specific or at least say "many governments"} urgently inhibits{"urgently inhibits" sounds odd when talking about enforcement of a law} people from trading endangered animals and plants; also, impose [while imposing]{this sounds more natural and flows better} heavy punishment[s ] on those who have over-exploited these species.
Another{ok, but there are better transitions - maybe "In addition"} remedy to address this concern is that nature conservations for threaten[ed] species should be expanded.{or, but "is the expansion of nature preserves for threatened species"} It is reported that there are only 1600 pandas left in the wild,{here is where you need a semicolon} the reason for this is the curtailment of their habitats, bamboo forests. Hence, to minimize this loss, endangered animals and plants need to be transferred to nature reserves. Living in conservations, these animals can be offered adequate food and habitation{"habitat" is better}, more importantly, they can be protected from being poached.{"protected from poaching" is more concise and natural}
All things considered, from my perspective, it is vital for humans to make a concerted effort with a view to maintaining biodiversity. Authorities {"must" or "should"} necessarily prohibit people from over-exploiting endangered species for commerce; additionally, nature reserve[s ] needs[need] to be expanded on the[a] larger scale.

TOEFL listening lectures: How would the professor most probably categorize Shinto?
Luschen
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Joined: 08 Apr 2011
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Location: Nashville TN, USA

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hi:) on behafl of my friend! i would like to say 'thanks' #3 (permalink) Thu Nov 15, 2012 4:38 am   hi:) on behafl of my friend! i would like to say 'thanks'
 

both of us truly come from a gifted school and we are in 11 english class major:) we learn English almost all the days:)and recently, we have been chosen 2 out of 6 most english excellent students of my province to attend the national english exam:) we need your advice anf corrections of essays!:) so please help us") tks so much! dear luschen!":)
Impossibleme
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Joined: 17 Aug 2012
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another importance of diversity!:) help my friend:)luschen! tks so much #4 (permalink) Thu Nov 15, 2012 4:56 am   another importance of diversity!:) help my friend:)luschen! tks so much
 

Where is your school? Give me the name of the town and I can look it up on Google maps. Are your English teachers all Vietnamese or are there any Westerners at your school?
Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 6860
Location: Nashville TN, USA

another importance of diversity!:) help my friend:)luschen! tks so much #5 (permalink) Tue Nov 20, 2012 2:59 am   another importance of diversity!:) help my friend:)luschen! tks so much
 

i am not sure whether my school appear on the map:)) but i can be sure that our english teachers are excellent teacher, many of them got scholarships and went a broad, them came home to nurture students like us:) my school's name is: Le Quy Don gifted high school. not only outstading teachers of english subjects but many teachers in other subjects:)
Impossibleme
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Joined: 17 Aug 2012
Posts: 88

another importance of diversity!:) help my friend:)luschen! tks so much #6 (permalink) Tue Nov 20, 2012 4:06 am   another importance of diversity!:) help my friend:)luschen! tks so much
 

Hi, it looks like there are about 10 Le Quy Don high schools in Ho Chi Minh city - is yours at the corner of Nguyen Thi Minh Khai and Nam Ky Khoi Nghia? If so, very prestigious!
Luschen
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 08 Apr 2011
Posts: 6860
Location: Nashville TN, USA

another importance of diversity!:) help my friend:)luschen! tks so much #7 (permalink) Tue Nov 20, 2012 5:33 am   another importance of diversity!:) help my friend:)luschen! tks so much
 

no. it;s in Quangtri province:((
Impossibleme
You can meet me at english-test.net


Joined: 17 Aug 2012
Posts: 88

another importance of diversity!:) help my friend:)luschen! tks so much #8 (permalink) Tue Nov 20, 2012 5:43 am   another importance of diversity!:) help my friend:)luschen! tks so much
 

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=488685837820252&set=a.488685711153598.108846.100000365215411&type=1&ref=nf
this is my beloved school!:))
Impossibleme
You can meet me at english-test.net


Joined: 17 Aug 2012
Posts: 88

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