TOEFL Essay: Businesses should hire employees for their...

[TimF]

TOEFL Essay

Businesses should hire employees for their entire lives. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Many people would welcome the idea of having a life-time guaranteed job. But if you think about this proposal closely you will encounter the many disadvantages to it.

Firstly, business owners and CEOs will be very picky about who they will hire. They cannot make any rushed decisions, because they will not have the option of firing the employee if he or she does not perform well. They will look very closely at the applicants’ resumes and the work experiences. This will make it even more difficult for people, who might not be that qualified or experienced. These people will struggle to find a job and be kicked out of society.

Secondly, the thing that is most important to a company’s executives is success. And in the business world success equals money. The most effective way to make as much money as possible is by reducing the spending of it. Therefore it is very likely that they personnel’s salary will be rather poor. It will be hard to fulfil one’s dreams like an own house or an own car.

Lastly, employees might find a profession they like with an adequate salary. But people tend to change their minds about everything. The job you loved so much can become the very same you now despise. After having signed with a company you are not able to quit and you are stuck with the choice you made years ago for the rest of your life.

In conclusion, the idea of being hired for your entire life sounds tempting, but the many disadvantages like a poor outcome, the difficulties of finding a job and the consequences of one’s career choice will make you disagree with the idea of hiring employees for their entire lives.

I tried to write my answer within 30 minutes like I will have to on the actaul test.
I hope you have some tips for me what needs improvement.

Regards,
Tim

ps: I will be taking the TOEFL iBT on October 6th so I would appreaciate it, if you could answer me ASAP.[/i]

[Alan]

Hi,

You'll find my suggestions in CAPITAL letters:

[TimF]

Thank you for your quick response Alan!

[TimF]

Hi, I just wanted to let you guys know that I scored a total of 109 points (with 28 out of 30 in the writing section).

Once again: thank you.

Regards,
Tim