TOEFL essay sample "money plans"

[dorjee]

TOEFL essay review

A friend of yours has received some money plan to use all of it either to go on vacation or to buy a car. Your friend has asked you for your advice. Compare your friend's two choices and explain which one you think your friend should choose. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

To compare between choice of going on vacation or a buying a car, I would choose buying a car. Since childhood, I usually dreamed of driving a car. Whenever my parents bought me a new troy car, I fantasised myself driving and sitting in a driver seat and turning its steering. Whenever, I see a car parked in a market, I can't resist touching and peeking through the windows. As a teenage, I bought many books and posters of different designed cars. I particular take more interest in sport car with those shinny colours.

Today, whenever I go for shopping, I make it a point to visit car show rooms and spend many hours there. I become so passionate with the car that I feel, every one should own a car. I even consider that car and vacations are synonymous to each other. If you have a car you do not need to spend huge amount of money on vacation. For me going on for long vacation to some alien land is more tiresome than enjoyment. Besides, even if there is some enjoyment, it is only for the limited period of time; a week, a month or a year and then it just become past memory.

However, when we have a car, our lives become more flexible and more independent. We can enjoy every moment of our life. We do not need depend on someone else. Whenever you think you need some break from the daily hectic life, a long drive with a soft music inside is a perfect rejuvenating. There is no need for us to spent huge amount of money on booking your train or bus ticket.

Therefore, if my friend asked me which one to choose between buying a car or going on holiday. I would definitely, advice to buy a car.

Dear Alan, thank you for correcting my previous essays. I am posting another write up here. If you have a some comment on my overall write up it would be of great help.

Thank you!

[Alan]

Hi,