#2 (permalink) Wed Oct 11, 2006 7:57 am TOEFL essay sample: Movies are popular all over the world |
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Hi,
I've made some suggestions in CAPITAL letters:
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With THE advancement of technologies, our means and concept of entertainment has/HAVE also changed. Gone are the days, when people (have little choice of passing the days) HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO SPEND WHOLE DAYS either ( by gathering whole days to see ) WATCHING (the galloping) horse races, or a tug of war with the old and young folks/FOLK. Today, there are wide varieties of selections in the entertainment markets. Movies are most popular among them.BY Spending A few dollars, we could/CAN hire any movies cassettes and watch it/THEM at/IN the comfort of our home.
Today's active life (of the people) has also contributed to its popularity. Most (of the) people in this fast changing world, people have no time to gather/SPEND whole days. At the same time, like fashion industries, the tastes of /TASTE IN entertainment (of the people) HAS fluctuated every now and then. As the movie industries have the flexibility of coping with the changing demands. They stand rock hard through out the times/THROUGHOUT by providing the need based on people's interest.
Another/OTHER reasons for its popularity are because of the story it tells. Most of the moviemakers try to tell its/THEIR audiences (about the)A real life story whether it is past or present. Since, the story tells/TOLD in the movies are/IS somewhat relevant to once/PAST lives it draws/ATTRACTS the interest of the peoples/PEOPLE'S INTEREST. It is also a good means of learning and educating people. From movies apart from entertainment, we also learn lot about the history and culture of different countries.
Therefore, on account of these facts, movies are so popular. |
Alan _________________ English as a Second Language You can read my ESL story Present Simple |
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Alan Co-founder

Joined: 27 Sep 2003 Posts: 13890 Location: UK
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