Toefl essay samples: Overpopulations

[Ellie]

Please evaluate my TOEFL essey..

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Families with fewer children should be rewarded for helping to prevent overpopulation.

Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

I agree with this idea that Families with fewer children give helping for preventing overpopulation.
Few decades ago, the population in South Korea was getting larger after developing medical techknowledge. There was a concerning for overpopulations and the government soon decided the restict policy for preventing overpopulation. With this new deal, people began to have fewer babies. Few decades later, the government can see the fact obviously that the population is decreased even though there is many helpful options for overpopulation such as an advanced medical skill than before. Even though you don't have strong mathmathical skills, you can understand following calculations. Now suppose together this fact that there are two familes. One family has four offsprings and another family has only two of them. When the childrens grow up and have their own familes. When the families can have only one baby each, first family number is still bigger than second one.
With this reason I totally argee this idea that families with fewer children should be rewarded for helping to prevent overpopulation.

[Alan]

Hi,