Toefl essay: Why do people visit museums?

[Karaelmas]

Toefl essay

Many people visit museums when they travel to new places. Why do you think people visit museums? Use specific
reasons and examples to support your answer.

When people go to new countries,they want to learn historical imformation abaut the countries that they have travelled. Tour companies that tourists have travelled with ,usually prefer to visit museum.If you don' t go with any tour the easiest way to travel take a map of this country that you have already travelled.If you look at the map that you have taken , you can see very much historical places including museums.

Why are museums including? Why do travel companies prefer to visit museums? Museums are places which is easy to get more information than the other places that into this country that you have travelled. Because,there are a lot of insturements into museums.Museums based on a lot of insturement that is abaut topic of museum. When you go to museum you can get more information than you can learn by yourself because there is usually a guide in museums.The other reason of visiting museums is some museum's importances. If you go to any country there are usually some famous musemums so, people wonder that why are these museums famous. For example, ıf you come to my country you shouldn't miss Ayasofya musemum. Because, when tourists, who have been in my country, turn back to their country they say their friend that ıf you go to turkey you should go Ayasofya museum. This also can cause this situation that is visiting museums.

Tourists usually travel for learning new things abaut places that they already travelled. Museums are the most important places to learn. Because museums have so many insturemens that you will getinformations easily.

[Alan]

Hi,

My suggestions are in CAPITAL LETTERS:

When people go to new countries,they want to learn historical iNformation abOut the countries that they have travelled TO. Tour companies that tourists have travelled with ,usually prefer to visit museumS.If you don' t go with any tour the easiest way to travel IS TO take a map of this country that you have already travelled TO.If you look at the map that you have taken , you can see very much/MANY historical places including museums.

Why are museums including/INCLUDED? Why do travel companies prefer to visit museums? Museums are places which is/ARE easy to get more information FROM than the other places that ARE IN (into) this country that you have travelled TO because,there are a lot of insturements /INSTRUMENTS into/IN museums.Museums based on a lot of insturement/INSTRUMENTS that is/ARE abOut THE topic/THEME of THE museum. When you go to A museum you can get more information than you can learn by yourself because there is usually a guide in museums.The other reason of /FOR visiting museums is (some museum's importances) THEIR IMPORTANCE. If you go to any country there are usually some famous musemums/MUSEUMS so, people wonder that why these museums ARE famous. For example, ıf you come to my country you shouldn't miss Ayasofya musemum/MUSEUM because, when tourists, who have been in my country, turn back/RETURN to their country they say/TELL their friendS that ıf you go to Turkey you should go TO THE Ayasofya museum. This also HAS TO DO WITH VISITING MUSEUMS (can cause this situation that is visiting museums).

Tourists usually travel for learning/TO LEARN new things abOut places that they HAVE already travelled TO. Museums are the most important places to learn SOMETHING because museums have so many insturemens/INSTRUMENTS that you will get information FROM easily.

What do you mean when you use the word 'instruments' ?

Alan
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English as a Second Language
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[Karaelmas]

thank you very much ı am gettig better