TOEFL® essay: result of my efforts

[Alexzive]

Hello:),

TOEFL essay sample

I also exercised (myself?) with this essay topic.
That?s the result of my efforts.

Thank you in advance for any correction.

"Parents play a major role in the education process of young people but this statement doesn?t mean parents are the best teachers. I completely disagree with the proposed statement for the following reasons.

First teachers are professional educators, i.e. persons provided with professional background in the field of education and teaching. Because teaching imply education too. Modern teachers have not only specific knowledge in a specific area, but they must provide comptences in the field of psychology and social sciences. Parents often lack such skills that are required to be able to manage even difficult situations in the education process.

Second, parents cannot “be the best teachers” because their role is another (one?). Parents should be focused on the emotional part of the education process of young people involving feelings and living experiences. They can also be theachers occasionally but not systematically. Young people need both figures: the teacher, emotionally separeted from them and the parent, emotionally joined to them. But such figures can not overlap in the same person.

One could observe, parents better know their own children so they can be better teachers. This statement is actually wrong, because parents probably better know only the emotional part of their children, but this is not the one involved in the teaching process. Teaching needs distance, not emotional involvement. Young people should learn at school first how they should deal with the world outside the domestic nucleus (cell?). This imply to be able to refer to a third person (the teacher) appropriately. This relational skill can only be developed when parents limit themselves to be parent and not teachers. Parents, in my opinion, should even avoid to interfer in the teaching process because this is made by professional on a professoinal way that they should trust.

I recognize that parents are irreplaceable in "dispensing wisdom" but this should not be confusied with teaching. Wisdom is only based on experience and wisdom doesn?t teach you a method. Teaching does.

In conclusion both parents and teachers are important but they should play different roles. Parents aren?t the best teachers and teachers aren?t the best parents."

[Alan]

Hi,

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[Alexzive]

Dear Alan ,

thank you VERY MUCH for your corrections. I still have some doubts, if you could kindly spend some more time for me.

1)