TOEFL Essay: Easier to prepare food...

[juhi]

Hi,

Could you please evaluate my essay. This is my first attempt for a Toefl essay.

Thanks!

Essay Topic
Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

TOEFL Essay sample

Food has indeed become easier to prepare and has brought about major changes in ones eating habits. I believe that although this change leads to people eating more fast food, it has made life easy for most people. for the following reasons.

It is less time consuming to prepare food now than it was earlier because of innovations such as mixers, food processors, microwaves. By using these equipments one not only reduces the time spent in cooking but also can do away with the need for domestic help. For example, in developing countries where labour is cheap, most households hire maids to do cooking. These people depend on their maids who may use unheygenic methods to cook. Thus they can use such equipments and benefit by preparing food hygenically.

Some may argue that there are more shops selling fast food and there is an increase in the number of people buying it as it is tasty, but this change is harming the health of people who may suffer from illnesses such as diabetes. Though there is an increase in the number of diabetics worldwide, and this increase is attributed to comsumption of fast food, my belief is that what one eats is ones personal choice. Moreover, other aspects for example less physical activity, increase in stress levels can cause such lifestyle disease.

Moreover, there is an increase in the number of working women and they are able to complete their household chores and find time to concentrate on other aspects of their lives. They get more free time to spend with their families.

To sum up, a change in the way food is prepared has had a drastic impact on the lives of people and has provided them with time for other activities.

[Alan]

Hi,

[juhi]

Hi Alan,

Could you please let me know what you think about the structure of the essay?

Do essays for TOEFL follow a fixed pattern (except for the standard introduction, body paras and conclusion para) ?

Thanks!
Juhi