TOEFL® essay samples: Some people think it is best for extended families...

[Bubbles]

hi,
Please my check essay for any corrections.

Thanks,
Bubbles

Some people think it is best for extended families (including grandparents,aunts,uncles and cousins etc .) to live together.Other people think that it is best for the nuclear family (parents and children only )to live away from the extended family .Which type of family do you think is the most beneficial ?Use specific reasons to support your response.

TOEFL essay samples

Some people do not prefer living in an extended family,but there are others who cannot stay away from their parents and prefer an extended family to a nuclear family.We cannot say one is better than the other.Some people stay away from an extended family,to cut down household expenses,when they feel there is no much privacy and managing a family with many people and children's become tiring for some.

In my opinion , an extended family means a lot of fun and happiness because there will be a lot of people around but at the same time it means a lot of expenses for the head of the family . On the other hand ,a nuclear family can share their happiness and sorrow within their family members and there will be no much family expenses. It becomes difficult to manage when all the members of an extended family becomes dependent only one bread earner .

Secondly,it becomes difficult to live in an extended family because we cannot expect to have much privacy.People might break into our privacy and we cannot avoid this.Some people would like to spend some quality time only with their wife and children during weekends or would like to spend some time alone just watching television ,listening to music or simply go for a long drive alone,without worrying about taking their entire family when going for outing.

Lastly ,there is no family without problems,fights and misunderstandings.Even in a small knit family we see people facing with problems ,couples arguing and and even small kids fighting with their own sisters and brothers.This is inevitable.Sometimes parents find it very difficult to manage their own kids and there will be other problems (work tension , phone bills to pay etc) which will be too much to handle and will start looking ways to minimize these problems.When such situations arises they move out from an extended family.

Overall I think the nuclear type of family is more benefical when compared to an extended family.

[Alan]

Hi,

Some people do not prefer living in an extended family,but there are others who cannot stay away from their parents and prefer an extended family to a nuclear family.We cannot say one is better than the other.Some people stay away from an extended family,to cut down household expenses,when they feel there is noT much privacy and managing a family with many people and children becomeS tiring for some.

In my opinion , an extended family means a lot of fun and happiness because there will be a lot of people around but at the same time it means a lot of expenses for the head of the family . On the other hand ,a nuclear family can share their happiness and sorrow within their family members and there will NOT be much family expense. It becomes difficult to manage when all the members of an extended family become dependent ON only one bread earner/BREADWINNER .

Secondly,it becomes difficult to live in an extended family because we cannot expect to have much privacy.People might break into our privacy and we cannot avoid this.Some people would like to spend some quality time only with their wife and children during weekends or would like to spend some time alone just watching television ,listening to music or simply goING for a long drive alone,without worrying about taking their entire family when going for AN outing.

Lastly ,there is no family without problems,fights and misunderstandings.Even in a small/CLOSE knit family we see people facED with problems ,couples arguing and and even small kids fighting with their own sisters and brothers.This is inevitable.Sometimes parents find it very difficult to manage their own kids and there will be other problems (work tension , phone bills to pay etc) which will be too much to handle and THEY will start looking FOR ways to minimize these problems.When such situations arise they move out from an extended family.

Overall I think the nuclear type of family is more benefical when compared to an extended family.


Good

Alan
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English as a Second Language
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