New spelling rules? - I hope it's a joke

[Snezana]

As part of the negotiations, the British Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan
that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with
joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k".
This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have
one less letter. There will be growing publik
enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome
"ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words
like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling
kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more
komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double
letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate
speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent
"e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go
away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as

replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil
hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil
find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united
urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German
like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

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Seize the day!

[Conchita]

Thanks, Snezana, for that hilarious piece. As I was reading along, I felt more and more like a character from 'Frankenstein Junior' (except Marty Feldman and Gene Wilder).

By the way, I hope it's a joke, too!

Oh, and welcome to the forums!

PS: Have you started using the new spelling in your signature (sieze/seize the day)?

[Snezana]

Conchita,
thanx for comments, I'm glad you liked it.
Also, thank you for the correction of my misspelling, it was not a tribute to new rules, it was a real mistake.
I hope to enjoy the forum!
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Seize the day!

[Dark magician]

Hello, Snezana

[prezbucky]

that is funny

when are they going to clean up "manoeuvrability"?

hehe
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Billie Jean is not my lover. Hee.

[Tamara]

Hi Snezana

Thanks (thanx) for the joke.

By the way, do you know that your (nick)name in Russian sounds as being one-rooted with snow?
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It’s impossible to learn swimming without entering the water…

[Conchita]

[Snezana]

Yes, Tamara, I know the meaning of my name, it's the same in Serbian.
It is also the name of the fairy-tale character - Snow White.

Yours has the quite opposite meaning - PALM TREE! Lucky you!
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Seize the day!