TOEFL essay: Childhood is the happiest time of a person's life

[mirka24]

Do u agree or disagree with the following statement?
Childhood is the happiest time of a person’s life.
Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

When a child is born, a new life starts. By passing the years he/she develops the skills, learn from the experience and starts to explore the life as it is.
Children are taken as innocent human beings. Some people remember their childhood as happy one, others may disagree.
In this century we can hear many sad stories about the life of a child. For example, some parents don't feel too strong and mature to take care of their expecting baby, so they give it away. These children don't know their parents and grow up without having the love and happiness as a family. Unless, some family who wish for a child adopt him/her and provide this love. Other unhappy childhood is if there are any problems in a family, like divorce or argument between parents. Then, only children are the ones whose are sacrificed. I bet, there are other sad stories in children lives.
Unfortunately, a lot of childhoods remind as the happiest time in the life. I belong to those lucky ones. I have parents, whose love me as I do them, am living healthy life to score all my goals I have set for myself and have a home where I am always welcome. Many of my friends speak about their childhood with a smile on their faces.
I think, that life is too short to think about sad things and we should use the time as best and happiest as the life is offered to us. From my view, childhood is the happiest moment in the life because children are as the most precious things in this world and they deserve the best and happiest time in the life.

P.S. This one is my first one. Can u please grade it for me. Thank you

[Alan]

Hi,

When a child is born, a new life starts. By passing the years/WITH THE PASSING OF TIME he/she develops the skills, learnS from experience and starts to explore life as it is.
Children are taken/REGARDED as innocent human beings. Some people remember their childhood as A happy one, others may disagree.
In this century we can hear many sad stories about the life of a child. For example, some parents don't feel strong and mature ENOUGH to take care of their expecting/EXPECTED baby, so they give it away. These children don't know their parents and grow up without having the love and happiness OF a family. Unless THERE IS A family who wish for a child and want to adopt him/her and provide this love.ANother unhappy childhood is if there are any problems in a family, like divorce or argumentS between parents. Then, only children are the ones whose LIVES are sacrificed. I bet, there are other sad stories in children'S lives.
Unfortunately, a lot of childhoods remind US THAT IT IS the happiest time in theIR life. I belong to those lucky ones. I have parents, WHO love me as I do them, I am living A healthy life to ACHIEVE all THEI goals I have set for myself and I have a home where I am always welcome. Many of my friends speak about their childhood with a smile on their faces.
I think, that life is too short to think about sad things and we should use the time as THE best and happiest TIME IN LIFE THAT is offered to us. From my view, childhood is the happiest moment/PERIOD in life because children are REGARDED as the most precious things in this world and they deserve the best and happiest time in life.

Alan
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English as a Second Language
You can read my ESL story Everything in the Garden is lovely