We change when the pain to change is less than the pain to remain as we are...

[Torsten]

Hi, I quoted (or rather tried to quote) Ed Foreman in an earlier post and it occurred to me that he seems to have create some new phrases. For example, at some point he said the following:

We change when the pain to change is less than the pain to remain as we are.

Now, I understand that this sentence might not be 100% grammatically correct but it still is quite interesting, isn't it? Have you heard that phrase before? What do you think of it?
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[Fan of Arabian horses]

Hi, I think Ed Foreman is right. Due to the fact that water always follows the way of smallest resistance humans also mostly take the way which hurts them fewer. What do you think?

Michael

[Tamara]

Hi

[Yankee]

Hi everyone

I'm in the process of making a huge change myself. After more than 17 years in Germany I'll be moving back to the USA this month. (The movers are coming on Monday!) The decision wasn't an easy one to make and making this sort of change is not easy in the least. Germany has become "home" to me and I'm quite sure I will miss many people and things here in Germany after I've left. It would be much simpler to just stay where I am and continue on as I have been. However, I'm looking forward now to all of the new opportunities that 2007 will bring.

Amy
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Amy
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ESL teacher, translator, and a native speaker of American English

[Fan of Arabian horses]

Hi!

Tamara, your recent post reminds me a German idiom: the one?s nightingale is the other?s owl. I mean, Ed Foreman?s saying starts with the words: We change when...... So I understood it: if there is no need we don?t change, but if we suffer pain we always look for more pleasant opportunities. For me it not neseccarily means that the new way don?t content any pain but less though. Well, I don?t know about the reasons of people who seem to survive in a world of pain only but I?m convinced that such people surely have some. Just to escape a boring world in their opinion or something else, perhaps?

Let me give you a small example: In GermanTV there is a report about a young man getting Hartz IV money for life only. That means he?s getting an amount of 350 Euros a month. The TV team don?t avoid any effort to offer that young man a job which would surely enable him to earn that more comfortable life that he wants to have. He starts working at every offerred job and at the latest after half an hour he leaves it and always claims to suffer physical pain. I think, you personally, like surely all of the members of this site, would suffer pain when they were forced to life with 350 Euros a month, wouldn?t you? If so, then you surely would do a lot to escape that situation, am I right?

Michael

[Fan of Arabian horses]

Hi Amy!

What a point of time to make such a change. I agree, it?s rather hard to leave your ?home? and not really to know what you will find at the new residence. Or do you return to your formerly ?home?? However I think you will discover many changings there. Wish you all the best for that step. But there is one weak comfort for you when you might feel lonely: I think you always can return to this site and talk to your friends here.

On the other hand, you surely have good reasons to return to the US. You surely will be busy the next days, so if there is long time no see see next time I wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year in advance.(No leg-pulling )

Michael

[Tamara]

Hi Michael!

Yes, you’re right (especially about nightgale and owl )

I would just make a distinction between changing circumstances (that, possibly, then will change yourself, as the result)
and changing yourself - in the sense of changing your own worldview, principles, system of values, etc.

Just for example, what I actually meant:
I remember when my son was 8, he said something like ‘Mom, I’ll never be under someone’s order’.

‘Ok’, - I answered him. ‘If it's your decision not to admit natural hierarchy of the world, you have to be ready to get all the pain of the attitude, in full.’

Now I can see him being a quite good team player and all of that, actually being able to function in the society… but I also know well that his internal attitude has changed just a little bit.
He just behaves himself ‘right’, but actually he just ‘adapts’ himself to the world, behaviourally. Not yet admitting it naturally.
He is 16 now and I know that in some circumstances that (his actual attitude) can be revealed – destructively, self-destructively, and despite ANY pain.

So, what I wanted to say was that I don’t generally consider 'changing yourself' (in the sense of the quote, as I understood it, maybe wrong) as the same thing as changing circumstances around (place of living, etc).

To me, the first is much more strong thing.

The second point is that I don’t generally like the standpoint that all (most) choices we made are made between ‘more pain’ and ‘less pain’.
I think love, friendship, caress and other human relationships of the kind change people much more successfully than just water-like 'avoiding/minimising pain' movement.

Tamara
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[Tamara]

Amy… I wish you all the best and hope that your journey will happily combine 'coming back' and new – even more lucky and bright as ever before - opportunities (in plenty).
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[Pamela]

Hi Amy

I understand you perfectly well. If I were you my feelings were exactly the same.17 years is a long period to get attached to the place that seemed strange at first. But I think all the changes happen for the better. I wish you all the best and many, many, many,many,many happy moments in 2007!

I'm looking forward to seeing you online as soon as possible!

[Fan of Arabian horses]

Hi Tamara!

Again we seem not to be the best opponents. You?re right, too, saying that not only pain makes us changing our current manners/behave but also the points you mentioned. Like your son who obviously had figure out that being a team-player could make him more fortune than to swim against the stream or being a lonely wolf.

As far as I have understood the initial sentence you also may substitute comfort for pain and than Ed Foreman might sound like: We change when the changing might make us feeling more comfortable than our current manner. He just expressed this more dramatically. So might Ed Foreman be a related to George Foreman who (I?m quite sure) preferred to consider Ed?s wisdom?

Michael

[Conchita]

Let me join in the good wishes for your new life, Amy. You had dropped a few hints here and there, so it didn’t come as a total surprise. Such adventurous changes, appealing though they may be, are, as you say, no easy task. Actually going ahead and taking the plunge must require a fair bit of courage, especially after all these years.

Selfishly, I’m hoping that it doesn’t mean we’ll see less of you on these forums.

Heaps of luck for you and grab all those opportunities over there!

[Yankee]

Thanks everybody.

My furniture other household goods began their journey to New England on the 19th of December (that's the day the movers piled everything into a container) and I guess my container is on a container ship at sea by now.

Since the 19th I've been "camping out" in an empty house, visiting friends, doing final clean-up, attending to loose ends, etc. and have been logging onto the forum from my old laptop. Tonight will be my last night in the house.

My two cats have passports now, too. The "pet passports" look very serious and extremely official. We're flying to "Yankee-land" on Saturday. Fortunately, I've already taught my two German cats English. Unfortunately, they continue to pretend they don't understand English -- just as they pretend they don't understand German.

Amy
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Amy
.
ESL teacher, translator, and a native speaker of American English

[Torsten]

Hi Amy,

Do the passports of your cats also include photographs? How are you celebrating your last night German soil? (Maybe you'll come back here some day?) Thanks to the Internet you will be able to connect with us here on the forum. We really want to know how you and your German cats are getting settled over there in New England...
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[Conchita]

Hi Amy,

I’m so glad to see you back with us again! It hasn’t been such a long time, I know, but we've missed you. How was your journey to the New World? I hope you’re settling in nicely. Is there a quarantine for pets in the US?

Happy New Year and life!

[Yankee]

Hi Conchita

Thanks and Happy New Year to you, too!

My trip back to the US was extremely long but pretty uneventful, and I actually had some very lucky breaks. I had booked my flight in economy class but the airline upgraded me to "business class elite" when I checked in. That was wonderful! There is a world of difference between flying "tourist class" and flying business class.

Making the arragements to fly with two cats was complicated, but actually ended up making some things much easier on the day of the flight. For example, landing at JFK Airport and clearing customs and security can be a very lengthy process. But, with two cats in tow, I had to go to "special" areas -- where there were no long lines. In fact, those areas didn't have any lines at all.

I'm still tired, but happy to be back in New England. The cats aren't terribly happy about the change, though. They're apparently reserving judgement.

Amy