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Is this sentence correct: This action will generate $150 000 which may...



 
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ESL Forum | English Vocabulary, Grammar and Idioms
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Is this sentence correct: This action will generate $150 000 which may... Wed Nov 22, 2006 2:45 am  Is this sentence correct: This action will generate $150 000 which may...
 

This action will generate $150 000 which may be spent on advertising for existing products to consolidate our successful brands already being on the market.

_I feel it is wrong. I don't like the following part of it:may be spent on advertising for existing products to consolidate our successful brands
It seems awkward to me. Please comment on it.

Twin
Twin
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Is this sentence correct: This action will generate $150 000 which may... Wed Nov 22, 2006 3:40 am  Is this sentence correct: This action will generate $150 000 which may...
 

This is a bit of a clunky and awkward sentence.

First, I don't think you intend to consolidate the brands... rather you hope to consolidate (ie: capitalize upon) the marketing successes achieved with those brands

There some redundancies which, if removed, should clean up the sentence. Is it really neccessary to specify that advertising will be for 'exisiting products' or that your successful brands are 'on the market'?

How about:

'This action will generate 150,000.00 which may be spent on advertizing to consolidate our marketing successes thus far.'
Pond969
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Is this sentence correct: This action will generate $150 000 which may... Wed Nov 22, 2006 10:13 am  Is this sentence correct: This action will generate $150 000 which may...
 

Thank you...
Twin
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Joined: 02 Jul 2006
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Expression: Come over his face | How to look on the 'look'?
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