Toefl® essay sample: You have enough money to buy either a house or a business

[Altaa_Aagii]

You have enough money to buy either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choice.

If I have enough money to purchase either a house or a business, I would definitely select to buy a business. I believe that the spending money on building my own business, despite somewhat risky, is the more well advised choice because it could bring me more profit or money, valuable experience and knowledge. In contrast buying a house, however gives me a comportable environment to live, it cannot give me expanded profit like a prosperous business.

Starting one’s own business requires certain sense of risk, and strong desire to succeed by improving self skills. The cornerstone of the starting own business is the specialized knowledge related to that business field. Also by developing own business, the person will have to learn more on diversified field of profession such as accounting, managemant and business administation even though they are not his/her main profession. Also no one cannot do all the works by himself/herself. Therefore the person who owns the business, need to hire right professionals, employees and need to manage them by correct way to acquire success in business field. All the things give the person the deepest knowledge, valuable communicational and professional experience, useful for it’s future. It may take several years to succeed in the business, and maybe there would be numerous unsuccessful attempts, but in the last, if the business grows and develops successfully, it could bring more and more profit or money than those spent on to start it.

If the person was buying a house instead of buying a business, it gives him/her an temporarily content, but it cannot bring more glad than the successful business can bring. Another reason is also in today’s active world, especially young people always move from one place to other to search new opportunities and new careers. In this case to spend money on buying a house is not a perfect choice.

In conclusion, buying a business instead of house could bring me more brightened future. By starting and developing the business successfully, I can earn much money from the business, and i could buy not only a house but also everything that need for my family and our life. And also it bring me high self-improvement.

[Alan]

Hi,

My corrections are in capital letters:

If I have enough money to purchase either a house or a business, I would definitely select to buy a business. I believe that spending money on building my own business, despite BEING somewhat risky, is the more well advised choice because it could bring me more profit or money, valuable experience and knowledge. In contrast buying a house, however gives me a comportable environment to live, it cannot give me expanded profit like a prosperous business.

Starting one’s own business requires A certain sense of risk, and strong desire to succeed by improving self skills. The cornerstone of the starting own business is the specialized knowledge related to that business field. Also by developing THEIR own business, the person will have to learn more ABOUT diversified fieldS of professionS such as accounting, managemant and business administation even though they are not his/her main profession. Also no one CAN do all the works by himself/herself. Therefore the person who owns the business, needS to hire THE right professionals, employees and need to manage them IN THE correct way to acquire success in THE business field. All theSE things give the person the deepest knowledge, valuable communicational and professional experience, useful for THE future. It may take several years to succeed in the business, and maybe there would be numerous unsuccessful attempts, but in the END, if the business grows and develops successfully, it could bring more and more profit or money than WAS spent on to start it.

If the person was buying a house instead of buying a business, it gives him/her temporarY contentMENT, but it cannot bring more PLEASURE than the successful business can bring. Another reason is also in today’s active world, especially young people always move from one place to other to search FOR new opportunities and new careers. In this case to spend money on buying a house is not a perfect choice.

In conclusion, buying a business instead of A house could bring me A BRIGHTERf uture. By starting and developing the business successfully, I can earn much money from the business, and I could buy not only a house but also everything that IS needED for my family and our life. And also it bringS me high self-improvement.


Alan
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English as a Second Language
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[Cristina]

Hi Alan and Welcome to the New Member Altaa Agii!!
I prefer to run a bussiness too
I think is an excellent opportunity to develope, to adquire economical independence but Is really important to start a bussiness with the right people,people who knows about the bussiness you are going to run,because depends on you and on them the future of this bussiness,also prepare yourself before you start all these,because you won't have the time you use to,and you need to be prepared ,make an organized agenda,and save some money in case the bussiness don't go as well as you expect,analyse location,the fluency of people there,don't use the money you earn until you are sure about the movements of your bussiness and how much you earn monthly,
if you find some mistakes please correct them.
Cristina.
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Brains like hearts go where they are appreciated.