Which are the main problems you have when you are married?

[Pamela]

Welcome back, Cristina!

I have never been married either. But seeing how my friends lead a married life I can boldly assume that the main problem arising in their relationship is total misunderstanding, that is dissimilarity of characters that causes constant scandals, disputes. Love, kindness and mutual understanding should be dominant in a conjugal unit.

[Prezbucky]

Pamela

While many of the world's top chefs may be men, I'd put good money on the average woman being a much better cook than the average man.

hehe

Seriously, though... if the food sucks, just use some seasoning to kick it up a notch: salt, pepper, garlic, cumin, whatever. Divorcing someone seems a bit extreme.
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Billie Jean is not my lover. Hee.

[NinaZara]

hello Christina,

love the topic..well,i say the main problem in marriage would be not being able to love your partner like you the way you should.No matter how many inteferences you get from people outside the marriage, no matter how big the mistake was e.g. infidelity, if you really love her/him, u would stay.

Because when you love you forgive.

In my culture, it`s common to have the women forgive their husbands for infidelity but not the other way round.Wouldn`t it be nice to marry a guy who can forgive and still love eventhough being cheated on ?just an example;)

It is my dream to marry my soulmate.And my definition of soulmate is someone that I really love that no matter how much he hurts me, I will always be able to forgive and love him.And vice versa.
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Try your best and damn the rest.

[NinaZara]

Cristina,

I spelled your name wrongly,please forgive me.

Nina
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Try your best and damn the rest.

[Che Gevara]

The problem would be,if you found your wive in your neighbour's bed
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Bombing for peace is like f.. for virginity

[Jamie (K)]

[NinaZara]

Everything you said Jamie, sadly is true. But I think you took me wrongly. I was emphasizing on how important love is in the constitution of marriage and basically referring to the things that Cristina mentioned, the normal spousal disputes.

However, when the problem becomes larger than that, like you said when it involves children or when one is dealing with an abusive husband, the priority would utterly change, wouldn`t it? For example, it would be putting the kids first or trying to stay alive rather than saving the marriage itself.

Just to remind whoever is reading this, domestic violence never occurs once, twice maybe but always all the way.

And yes Jamie, I too, think that forgiving isn`t the same as excusing. When I was in the 5th form, me and my classmates actually had a heated argument with our english teacher regarding this (we weren`t able to see it in our mother tongue).And no Jamie, when I said we should forgive I wasn`t saying 'Yes dear, you can do it again.'

Regarding the issue of infidelity, zero tolerence might be an ideal way for you to deal with it but it might not be for some. Same goes as my ideal definition of a soulmate. I was merely suggesting it but I didn`t mean to impose in on others.

And as scared as I am to think that I might fall in love with a psycopath (now that you`ve crushed my dream..he he just joking) I guess I can`t help it but I think I can hope and pray that I (and all the other girls) will make the right decisions along the way.

Speaking of a girl`s dream of love,it reminds me of Shirley Temple`s 'Love`s young dream', a song from the Little Colonel. Here`s the lyrics.It`s my favourite!

Oh! the days are gone when beauty bright my heart's chain wove,
When my dream of life from morn 'till night was love,still love.
New hope may bloom and days may come,of milder, calmer beam.
But there's nothing half so sweet in life as love's young dream,
Oh! there's nothing half so sweet in life as love's young dream.

Copyright by Movietone Music Corporation, N.Y.
Lyric by Thomas Moore
Old Irish Fold Tune Edited and arranged by C. Mockridge

What I`m trying to say here is,girls will always be girls

And the things you mentioned made me realized how naive I sounded, but of course I was aware of all the harsh realities, just not sensitive enough I guess. Anyway, thank you for pointing them out.
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Try your best and damn the rest.

[Prezbucky]

[Borjana]

Hi Cristina! I reading now your topic, is interesting, .Now I to ask for my self.I`m marriage 9years ago, but 6 years ago I was living with my husband, and continue to living and loved one by one. My marriage was : love with first sight.Before, long years ago, I don`t believe in this, but, really for me was , happen,and I feeling good and happy in my family.Some time, happen, and I or my husband had any problem, or don`t agreed, but, this is only 5 minutes, and together founded any consensus, maybe, I think, every family had this topics, because life is one like sea and some time have trouble, but, main is to live in harmony and to loved one by one, . Long years ago, one my friend was divorce , and for long time, she can`t to meet with another man, because telling everywhere" I`m afraid from man"but, one beauty day, she meeting with another man, and loved, today, now , she and he living together and in harmony, and forget first store in her life, but, this is one finally, where two people can`t living together, is important , one to go, and is good for both, .Dear Cristina, I writing, and liked to discus in this forum, but, really I have mistake, misspelling, because, you seeing, my english want more for to improve, but, some time, sincerely, I needed to speaking with people, and, some time, I stopped, because, I `m not sure to writing without mistake, and, if I writing now, in my language for this topic, my writing do was different and many clear, lucidity, , .In general, I hope you understanding me, and next time , my writing to be more good, and I can to tell, what, how my friend going in divorce. and. , now, just one point, my friend was divorce, because her husband was one another women, and for this, and everyone I think not tolerate.ok, maybe my message, bored , or, you feeling tired with my mistake or my opinion, but, really, you helped me , I needed to speaking in English,and where had topics a liked, don`t to hesitate , and I write. Thank you . Sincerely Bora.

[Tom]