|
|
 Thu Dec 28, 2006 19:49 pm Which are the main problems you have when you are married? |
|
|
Well I've never been married, but I imagine one thing that might piss me off would be if my spouse couldn't cook.
...because I can't cook (more than Mac and cheese, frozen pizza, etc.), and I love good food.
Seriously, I heard a story several years ago about an old man -- he was in his 90s -- who divorced his wife of 60-something years because his taste buds had finally had enough. He simply could no longer withstand the invariably poor food she put on the table.
Rather than taking on some of the responsibilities himself (EG learning to cook or grabbing some decent take-out food), he simply said goodbye.
"Pass the salt, PLEASE!"
_________________
Billie Jean is not my lover. Hee. |
|
Prezbucky
I'm a Communicator ;-)
Joined: 07 Nov 2006
Posts: 2252
Location: Nashville, TN (USA)
|
|
| Thu Dec 28, 2006 20:25 pm Hi prezbucky |
|
|
| Quote: | | Seriously, I heard a story several years ago about an old man -- he was in his 90s -- who divorced his wife of 60-something years because his taste buds had finally had enough. He simply could no longer withstand the invariably poor food she put on the table. |
| Quote: | | Rather than taking on some of the responsibilities himself (EG learning to cook or grabbing some decent take-out food), he simply said goodbye. |
That you've told me sounds incredible!!  On the other hand,I know a friend who doesn't know how to cook,not even a fried egg but her husband loves to cook and he cooks for them everyday,he cooks extremely good.
Cristina.
_________________
Brains like hearts go where they are appreciated. |
|
Cristina
I'm here quite often ;-)
Joined: 19 May 2006
Posts: 133
Location: Lima Peru
|
 |
| Thu Dec 28, 2006 22:39 pm Which are the main problems you have when you are married? |
|
|
I've never been married either, but some things that have bothered me in various relationships have been cultural. It's especially a problem for me when I'm involved with someone from a Mediterranean or Middle Eastern culture, where the whole family always sticks their nose into everything. The other thing that drives me crazy in that situation is when they continue to offer food five or six times after the person has said no. They think they're being polite, and in their culture the are, but I feel they're being rude.
In cases where the man is older and the woman is quite a bit younger, there's another set of problems. Some people think the misfit is going to be all about the two people's memories, favorite music, etc. being different, but that's not what I found. The biggest problems is this: The younger woman is about to make some kind of mistake, whether it's in her studies, her job or her life. The man has already seen this "TV show" before, and he knows how it comes out in the end. At times, he can gently tell her somehow what will probably happen, but if he runs around warning her every time she's going to make a mistake, that ruins the relationship too. Plus, she may not even believe him when he tells her, because she doesn't have the life experience yet. So sometimes the man just has to shut up, let her make the mistake, and be understanding with her as the two of them deal with the consequences that she wasn't expecting. And by all means, the man had better not say, "I could have told you this would happen." |
|
Jamie (K)
I'm a Communicator ;-)
Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Posts: 4454
Location: Detroit, Michigan, USA
|
|
| Thu Dec 28, 2006 22:45 pm Which are the main problems you have when you are married? |
|
|
Well, well, gentlemen. What a strange view you do have of marriage!
Can I gently whisper the word: Sharing.
A
_________________
English as a Second Language
You can read my ESL story Only Three Letters |
|
Alan
Co-founder
Joined: 27 Sep 2003
Posts: 7630
Location: UK
|
|
| Thu Dec 28, 2006 22:50 pm Which are the main problems you have when you are married? |
|
|
| Alan wrote: | | Can I gently whisper the word: Sharing. |
Never found it to be a problem. |
|
Jamie (K)
I'm a Communicator ;-)
Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Posts: 4454
Location: Detroit, Michigan, USA
|
|
| Thu Dec 28, 2006 23:20 pm Which are the main problems you have when you are married? |
|
|
Cristina
I don't think I'd actually divorce someone (I mean I'd have to love her to marry her, and loving her really wouldn't have THAT much to do with her cooking...) on account of poor cuisine... but it could get rather old.
At which point I'd either take the bull by the horns and learn to do it myself, or pick up dinner on the way home, or something... breaking the news to her that her cooking sucks would be the first hurdle. hehe
"Tom, why have you been bringing dinner home recently?"
"Oh, no reason, just felt like spending obscene amounts of money..."
_________________
Billie Jean is not my lover. Hee. |
|
Prezbucky
I'm a Communicator ;-)
Joined: 07 Nov 2006
Posts: 2252
Location: Nashville, TN (USA)
|
|
| Fri Dec 29, 2006 7:21 am Which are the main problems you have when you are married? |
|
|
| In John O'Hara's novel Butterfield 8, there's a scene where a very rich New Yorker explains to a younger man that it's not the big stuff that causes divorces, but the small annoyances. He tells the younger man that he knew a couple who divorced because every morning the husband used to let part of his poached egg hang off his spoon, and that after 25 years the wife couldn't stand seeing it anymore. (Maybe it was 20 years, or maybe 30.) |
|
Jamie (K)
I'm a Communicator ;-)
Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Posts: 4454
Location: Detroit, Michigan, USA
|
|
| Fri Dec 29, 2006 11:47 am Which are the main problems you have when you are married? |
|
|
Hi!
Like I learned at this side it?s always the problems that life can make difficult. So why don?t we talk about the issues instead of problems a marriage(relationship) will have. I mean usually when one marries another person they mostly have spent a lot of time together, so that they were able to know themselfes, don?t they? Thus they, when they marry, do know who the other one is, how he/she behaves whether the partner is capable the cooking, how much money he/she has and so on......... So the marriage should be the wish to spent/share a life, at least I do think so. Of course, to share a life with someone else needs the capability of toleranz and patience. And if I?m not too selfish and self-loving it might be a great experience to look after some ten years back and to think: It?s been a good time!
Just my humble thoughts
Michael |
|
Fan Of Arabian Horses
I'm here quite often ;-)
Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 884
|
|
| Fri Dec 29, 2006 14:53 pm Which are the main problems you have when you are married? |
|
|
| Fan of Arabian horses wrote: | | I mean usually when one marries another person they mostly have spent a lot of time together, so that they were able to know themselfes, don?t they? |
They shouldn't just know themselves. The most important thing is that they should know each other!
| Fan of Arabian horses wrote: | | Thus they, when they marry, do know who the other one is, how he/she behaves whether the partner is capable the cooking, how much money he/she has and so on......... |
I know a lot of people from cultures where the couple knows each other for two weeks or less before they get married. I also know a young woman whose husband literally never saw her until after the wedding, when she lifted the veil on her wedding night. I further know some Russian women who were mail-order brides and married their husbands after a visit of about a week. (US law requires proof that the man has visited the woman in her own country, or else he can't bring her home.) I haven't noticed that these people's marriages are any worse than anyone else's. I know people who did everything "the right way" by our Western standards (marrying for love after an extended courtship, etc.), and they wound up divorced. I know another lady who married a man two days after she met him, and they have a wonderful, solid marriage and three children. As I say, I've never been married, but I think the whole thing is a gamble and completely depends on the man and woman's goodwill. |
|
Jamie (K)
I'm a Communicator ;-)
Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Posts: 4454
Location: Detroit, Michigan, USA
|
|
| Fri Dec 29, 2006 20:39 pm Issues and problems in a marriage |
|
|
Jamie wrote
| Quote: | | where the whole family always sticks their nose into everything. The other thing that drives me crazy in that situation is when they continue to offer food five or six times after the person has said no. |
I have to accept that in South America you see this kind of situations commonly.
Alan wrote
| Quote: | | Can I gently whisper the word: Sharing. |
Yes of course you can  ,if I used this topic is because is kind of controversial and we could share more ideas and many people could be involved on it 
prezbucky wrote
| Quote: | At which point I'd either take the bull by the horns and learn to do it myself, or pick up dinner on the way home, or something... breaking the news to her that her cooking sucks would be the first hurdle. hehe
"Tom, why have you been bringing dinner home recently?"
"Oh, no reason, just felt like spending obscene amounts of money..." |
hehehe fine...
Jamie(K) wrote
| Quote: | | it's not the big stuff that causes divorces, but the small annoyances |
To marry someone is a decision, the small annoyances,love,details,and a life together ,are part of that desicion.
Fan of Arabian Horses wrote
| Quote: | | Of course, to share a life with someone else needs the capability of toleranz and patience. And if I?m not too selfish and self-loving it might be a great experience to look after some ten years back and to think: It?s been a good time! |
Ten years back??......It's been a good time 
Jamie(K)wrote
| Quote: | | but I think the whole thing is a gamble and completely depends on the man and woman's goodwill. |
Also depends in their principles,and in God.
Cristina
_________________
Brains like hearts go where they are appreciated. |
|
Cristina
I'm here quite often ;-)
Joined: 19 May 2006
Posts: 133
Location: Lima Peru
|
|
| Fri Dec 29, 2006 22:45 pm Which are the main problems you have when you are married? |
|
|
| Jamie (K) wrote: | | Fan of Arabian horses wrote: | | I mean usually when one marries another person they mostly have spent a lot of time together, so that they were able to know themselfes, don?t they? |
They shouldn't just know themselves. The most important thing is that they should know each other!- |
Hi Jamie!
You?re right: knowing each other was what I meant.
Knowing oneself is definetely another issue although surely important for the decision to marry.
| Jamie (K) wrote: | | Fan of Arabian horses wrote: | | Thus they, when they marry, do know who the other one is, how he/she behaves whether the partner is capable the cooking, how much money he/she has and so on......... |
I know a lot of people from cultures where the couple knows each other for two weeks or less before they get married. I also know a young woman whose husband literally never saw her until after the wedding, when she lifted the veil on her wedding night. I further know some Russian women who were mail-order brides and married their husbands after a visit of about a week. (US law requires proof that the man has visited the woman in her own country, or else he can't bring her home.) I haven't noticed that these people's marriages are any worse than anyone else's. I know people who did everything "the right way" by our Western standards (marrying for love after an extended courtship, etc.), and they wound up divorced. I know another lady who married a man two days after she met him, and they have a wonderful, solid marriage and three children. As I say, I've never been married, but I think the whole thing is a gamble and completely depends on the man and woman's goodwill. |
I also have heard about some religious groups who decide a marriage for their fans and bind people in mass-marriages who had never met before or in some areas of the world it?s the usage that parents choose the partner for their children. With some luck and a strong believe in that behave it might work. I just considered the usual behave of, as I assume, the Western World. And here for me it is normal to prove the partner before you marry him/her. Due to the German saying: "So prove before you marry whether there isn?t anything/something-/one better" I must admit that it rhymes in German much better.
Michael |
|
Fan Of Arabian Horses
I'm here quite often ;-)
Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 884
|
|
|
Fan Of Arabian Horses
I'm here quite often ;-)
Joined: 20 Apr 2006
Posts: 884
|
|
| Sat Dec 30, 2006 1:27 am Which are the main problems you have when you are married? |
|
|
Fan of Arabian Horses wrote
| Quote: | Hi Cristina!
Nice to have you back here on the site. Just one thing in the above quote makes me wonder. I can?t figure out whether you have been married ten years ago Sorry, no offend or leg-pulling. |
Thanks for the welcome back Michael,and well I've been married for almost 8 years,and we were a boyfriend/girlfriend couple for almost two years,What I was trying to say with my quote above is that looking back 10 years ago...when we were single and now that we are married,after 8 years, comparing the differences, I can say that both of us have grown in many aspects but specially as human beings,that's the reason I wrote It's been a good time
_________________
Brains like hearts go where they are appreciated. |
|
Cristina
I'm here quite often ;-)
Joined: 19 May 2006
Posts: 133
Location: Lima Peru
|
|
| Tue Jan 02, 2007 14:17 pm Which are the main problems you have when you are married? |
|
|
Nice interesting topic, can not make any contributions to the marriage question
But a relationship is like anything else, business, family, kids etc
A bit of give and take. If the balance overtips then the scales break.
Back to Cristina, for clarity maybe if you had formulated the sentence as such:
Ten years for me as well (and counting)? A good time!
* ago and back are problematic. Brackets not necessary just too add humour.
But seriuosly English allows short responses and I am not saying I am perfect, but the writer knows what they mean and are thinking. The reader is open to his own interpretation. If you wish to say sth specific be clear in your use of words.
This is an issue for another thread concerning simplified expression for an international audience.
_________________
Please meet Stewart Tunncilff |
|
Stew.t.
I'm here quite often ;-)
Joined: 14 Dec 2006
Posts: 515
Location: Leipzig, Germany
|
|
|
| [REQ] Translation studies - Text reducing techniques - help... | Distance between Japan, Singapore and Hong Kong |
