Toefl sample essay: Competition and Cooperation in Economic Market

[NC7]

Competition and Cooperation in Economic Market.

Nowadays, we’re in a developing process of the society. Which factors have push up these development? In the economic market, there’re two most important factors; those are competition and cooperation . Each factor has its good and its harm but both bring to us many benefits.

When talking about the competition, many people think of disadvantages. In fact, it benefits us more than we thought. Due to the competition, companies ceaselessly find out the way to attract customers. Consequently, goods are sold off and services intensify.

For example, some years ago, telecom cost is quite high; nowadays, with the appearance of many telecom companies, the price is going down day by day. But there’re still some disadvantages. Among the competition, the commercial contracts end in win-lose result so some companies will go bankrupt.

As the competition, the cooperation bring to us both advantages and disadvantages. Companies will receive benefits from commercial contacts those are in the same organization with these companies. For example, a country joins WTO will have privileges which can’t be obtained without being a part of that organization. However, the companies also face to face with some problem such as monopoly and competition in that organization etc.

Competition and cooperation play an important role in the economic market. They are likely to be opposite; in fact, they have developed in parallel ways. Both of them have some disadvantages. However, we couldn’t deny their benefits only because of those slight ones; as a matter of fact, they benefits us so much.

Please help me if I have any mistake.

[Alan]

My corrections are in CAPITAL LETTERS:

Nowadays, we’re in a developing process of society. Which factors have pushED up these developmentS? In the economic market, there Are two most important factors; those are competition and cooperation. Each factor has its good and its harmFUL SIDE but both bring to us many benefits.

When talking about the competition, many people think of disadvantages. In fact, it benefits us more than we thought. Due to the competition, companies ceaselessly find out the way to attract customers. Consequently, goods are sold off and services intensify.

For example, some years ago, telecom costS WERE i quite high; nowadays, with the appearance of many telecom companies, the price is going down day by day. But there Are still some disadvantages. Among the competition, the commercial contracts end in win-lose result so some companies will go bankrupt.

As the competition, the cooperation bring to us both advantages and disadvantages. Companies will receive benefits from commercial contacts those are in the same organization with these companies. For example, a country joins WTO will have privileges which can’t be obtained without being a part of that organization. However, the companies also COME face to face with some problemS such as monopoly and competition in that organization etc.

Competition and cooperation play an important role in the economic market. They are likely to be opposite; in fact, they have developed in parallel ways. Both of them have some disadvantages. However, we couldn’t deny their benefits only because of those slight ones; as a matter of fact, they benefit us so much.

Alan
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English as a Second Language
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