TOEFL essay: A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory...

[Cathy1129]

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community.Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

my answer:
Recently,a news comes about that a company wishes to build a large factory near my community. It has advantages as well as disadvantages.

There are several advantages for a company to build a large factory.The first one is that after building a factory,it may bring about more business opportunities for the city where we live.The second advantage is that it’s more express to convey goods that the factory made.In a advisable survey conducted by government, it will save 1/3of convention fee if a factory is built near the community.

However,the negative aspects are also apparent.To begin with,it’s not environment-friendly to build a factory near the community.As we know that the water used by the people near the community generally may be influenced by the water rolling out from the factory.Also in a survy conducted by a hospital, 5 percentage of people were ill result in drinking dirty water.To make matters worse, it is influence persons mood.Also for a example of dirty water roll out of factory, people will not have a high mood to work or study,leading to low efficiency.

As to me,I don’t think it’s good to build a factory near the community.Admittedly it will bring out huge profit,but this may damage personal health. In addition,in spite of the time saved for convey goods,but it may affect people’s mood.

Overall,based on the disadvantages carry more weight than the advantages to build a factory near the community,it’s not a good choice to build a factory near my community.Other options for the site are recommended.

[Alan]

Hi,

Recently news comes about that a company wishes to build a large factory near my community. It has advantages as well as disadvantages.

There are several advantages for a company to build a large factory.The first one is that after building a factory,it may bring about more business opportunities for the city where we live.The second advantage is that it’s QUICKER to convey goods that the factory made. In a survey conducted by THE government, it will save A THIRD OF THE STANDARD fee if a factory is built near the community.

However,the negative aspects are also apparent.To begin with,it’s not environmentALLY friendly to build a factory near the community.As we know that the water used by the people near the community generally may be AFFECTED/INFECTED by the water rolling out from the factory.Also in a survEy conducted by a hospital, 5 per cent of people were ill AS A result OF drinking dirty water.To make matters worse, it influenceS PEOPLE'S mood. Also for aN example of dirty water POURING out of THE factory, people will not have THE RIGHT mood to work or study,leading to low efficiency.

As FOR me,I don’t think it’s good to build a factory near the community.Admittedly it will bring out huge profitS,but this may damage personal health. In addition,in spite of the time saved for conveyING goods,but it may affect people’s moodS.

Overall,based on the disadvantages WHICH carry more weight than the advantages to build a factory near the community,it’s not a good choice to build a factory near my community.Other options for the site are recommended.

Alan
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