TOEFL® Essay Sample: In many societies, elderly people live with their children...

[Tabby]

In many societies,elderly people live with their children and grandchildren when they can no longer live by themselves. In other societies, the elderly live in special residences where they are looked after by professional caregivers. Which System do you think is better? Use specific examples and reasons in your response.

Hi Alan,
Please review and grade my essay.
Thanks,
Tabby

Definitely there are some things that money cant buy. Love is one of them. A person needs love and support all his life no matter how independent or successful he is. Old age especially demnads affection. When a person grows old, he inevitably needs someone to be with him. If we see around us,elderly people of a family either live with their offsprings or in a separate old age homes under the supervision of professionals. I strongly feel that older people should spend rest of their lives with their progenies as it would help both their children and themselves in the following ways:

Elders will undubiously feel good and accepted if their own children look after them in a facet of life when they most need someone. Children are brought up by their parents since they are too young. Especially in a society to which I belong, parents are always ready for all the sacrifices they can make if demanded by life for the upbringing of their offsprings. So, if older parenrts are sent in some professional homes, they will not get the feeling being loved and accepted rather they would feel dejected by life.

Secondly,Experience is certainly the foremost attribute that youngsters can gain from their parents and grandparents. Children can definitely learn from the vicissitudes of their parents' and grandparents' lives. while on the other side of the argument, children whose elderly parents donot live with them will remain deprived of their experiences of life.

Finally,the bond of endearment and compassion that unites the entire family is truly cherished. Fondness and concern for your own blood relations is an innate feeling in everyone. If all the fellows of a family live together, the unity amongst themselves will be strngth and confidence of each of the person. However, a family broken into parts is unquestionably feeble because they dont get the support of each other when needed.

So, I believe, elderly people living with their children and grandchildren is definitely a better system as it helps both the elders and the youngsters in every way.

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[Alan]

HI,

Definitely there are some things that money can't buy. Love is one of them. A person needs love and support all his life no matter how independent or successful he is. Old age especially demANds affection. When a person grows old, he inevitably needs someone to be with him. If we LOOK around us,elderly people of a family either live with their offspring or in separate old age homes under the supervision of professionals. I feel STRONGLY that older people should spend THE rest of their lives with their OFFSPRING as it would help both their children and themselves in the following ways:

OLDER PEOPLE will UNDOUBTEDLYfeel good and accepted if their own children look after them in a PHASE of life when they most need someone. Children are brought up by their parents since they are too young. Especially in a society to which I belong, parents are always ready for all the sacrifices they can make if demanded by life for the upbringing of their offspring. So, if older parenTS are sent inTO some professional homes, they will not get the feeling OF being loved and accepted BUT rather they would feel dejected by life.

Secondly,experience is certainly the foremost attribute that youngsters can gain from their parents and grandparents. Children can definitely learn from the vicissitudes of their parents' and grandparents' lives. While on the other side of the argument, children whose elderly parents do not live with them will remain deprived of their experiences of life.

Finally,the bond of endearment and compassion that unites the entire family is truly cherished. Fondness and concern for your own blood relations is an innate feeling in everyone. If all the MEMBERS of a family live together, the unity amongst themselves will be strEngth and confidence IN each of THEM. However, a family broken into parts is unquestionably feeble because they dont get the support FROM each other when needed.

So, I believe, elderly people living with their children and grandchildren is definitely a better system as it helps both the OLDER PEOPLE and the youngsters in every way.


Alan
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