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Do you have jokes/riddles to share?


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ESL Forum | What do you want to talk about?
Diaries | What does your name or surname mean in English?
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Do you have jokes/riddles to share? Fri Mar 09, 2007 18:41 pm  Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

Hello forumers,

I watch a lot of American TV shows and movies and sometimes I didn't get the part I was suppose to laugh.

So I verily hope to hear some (jokes or riddles) from the forumers and see whether I can challenge myself to tell a joke from my background in English (and see whether English-spoken people get them or not).

Any takers?

Nina
_________________
"Suara rakyat suara keramat." -Anwar Ibrahim.
NinaZara
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 1031
Location: Japan

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? Sun Mar 11, 2007 2:34 am  Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

An ancient joke from the early 20th century or before. I used to make my linguistics students diagram the two possible structures that cause the misunderstanding.

HOTEL GUEST: Call me a taxi!
PORTER: Okay. You're a taxi!

Unfortunately, a lot of my favorite jokes are unfit for this forum, but I'll try to think of some more.
Jamie (K)
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Posts: 4337
Location: Detroit, Michigan, USA

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Do you have jokes/riddles to share? Sun Mar 11, 2007 2:45 am  Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

How about this funny headline:

Super Caley go Ballistic, Celtic are Atrocious

Laughing Laughing Laughing
Yankee
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 16 Apr 2006
Posts: 7892
Location: USA

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? Sun Mar 11, 2007 2:53 am  Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

This guy walks into his psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Saran-Wrap underwear.

The doctor walks in and says, "I can clearly see you're nuts."

(say it to yourself and you'll get the double-meaning. In typing it, I had to make a choice.)

---------------------------------

If you speak my name, I cease to exist.

What am I?
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Billie Jean is not my lover. Hee.
prezbucky
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 07 Nov 2006
Posts: 2152
Location: Nashville, TN (USA)

What is Fleeble? Sun Mar 11, 2007 6:43 am  What is Fleeble?
 

Hi,

Fleeble is bigger than the universe.
Some rich people want to have fleeble.
Poor people have fleeble.
If we eat fleeble, we will die.
What is Fleeble? Laughing
_________________
If you want to change the world, be one of the change.
Rosalisa
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 02 Aug 2006
Posts: 295
Location: Cambodia

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? Sun Mar 11, 2007 9:08 am  Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

Thanks guys.

I really don't know the answers for the riddles, but if other forumers have the answers, let's share them ok.

Anyway, let me try.

Tom's :

Quote:
If you speak my name, I cease to exist.

What am I?

You are a coward?or somebody with funny name?

Give me some hints, please

Rosalisa's:

Quote:
Fleeble is bigger than the universe.
Some rich people want to have fleeble.
Poor people have fleeble.
If we eat fleeble, we will die.
What is Fleeble?


Rock?

I know, I'm lame.
_________________
"Suara rakyat suara keramat." -Anwar Ibrahim.
NinaZara
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 1031
Location: Japan

What is Fleeble? Sun Mar 11, 2007 11:57 am  What is Fleeble?
 

Rosalisa wrote:
Hi,

Fleeble is bigger than the universe.
Some rich people want to have fleeble.
Poor people have fleeble.
If we eat fleeble, we will die.
What is Fleeble? Laughing

Here's my poor attempt:

gas?
Conchita
Language Coach


Joined: 26 Dec 2005
Posts: 2719
Location: Madrid, Spain

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? Sun Mar 11, 2007 12:04 pm  Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

Quote:
If you speak my name, I cease to exist.

What am I?

It can't be 'Di' (as in 'Diana'), can it (the question would then have to read 'who am I?')?
Conchita
Language Coach


Joined: 26 Dec 2005
Posts: 2719
Location: Madrid, Spain

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? Sun Mar 11, 2007 12:16 pm  Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

Yankee wrote:
How about this funny headline:

Super Caley go Ballistic, Celtic are Atrocious

Laughing Laughing Laughing

Sorry, Amy, but I don't see anything the least bit funny about it.

What am I missing? Confused Sad
Conchita
Language Coach


Joined: 26 Dec 2005
Posts: 2719
Location: Madrid, Spain

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? Sun Mar 11, 2007 13:30 pm  Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

Hi Conchita,

Please have another try. I have a clue for you. It's all about quantity. Very Happy

Hi Nina (Your name is like one of my friends' names. Very Happy )

So, Nina, please think about the clue. Very Happy
_________________
If you want to change the world, be one of the change.
Rosalisa
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 02 Aug 2006
Posts: 295
Location: Cambodia

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? Sun Mar 11, 2007 13:43 pm  Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

Rosalisa wrote:
Hi Conchita,

Please have another try. I have a clue for you. It's all about quantity. Very Happy

Could it be 'power'?
Conchita
Language Coach


Joined: 26 Dec 2005
Posts: 2719
Location: Madrid, Spain

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? Sun Mar 11, 2007 13:46 pm  Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

Conchita wrote:
What am I missing? Confused Sad

To appreciate the humor, you need to find a connection between Mary Poppins and football (soccer) in the UK. Cool
Yankee
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 16 Apr 2006
Posts: 7892
Location: USA

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? Sun Mar 11, 2007 13:51 pm  Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

NinaZara, here's one I saw on TV:

BUCK: Is it true your sister is marrying and X-ray doctor?
ROY: Yeah! He's the only one who can see anything in her!


I love jokes from old Borsht Belt comedians. When I was a kid I thought they were stupid, but now I think they're funny.

Here are some one-liners from a now-deceased Borsht Belt comedian named Henny Youngman:

The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do?" asks the patient. The doctor says "I'm mad at my neighbor!"

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."

A bum came up to me saying "I haven't eaten in two days!" I said, "You should force yourself!"

You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.

The more I think of you, the less I think of you.

A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. "Who is it?" "Blind man!" The woman opens the door. "Where do you want these blinds, lady?"

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Jamie (K)
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Posts: 4337
Location: Detroit, Michigan, USA

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? Sun Mar 11, 2007 14:02 pm  Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

Yankee wrote:
Conchita wrote:
What am I missing? Confused Sad

To appreciate the humor, you need to find a connection between Mary Poppins and football (soccer) in the UK. Cool

I got it now! Smile Really good play on words -- I'm glad I asked!
Conchita
Language Coach


Joined: 26 Dec 2005
Posts: 2719
Location: Madrid, Spain

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? Sun Mar 11, 2007 14:22 pm  Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

Hi Conchita...

It's...please have another try...it's exactly bigger than the universe... Very Happy
_________________
If you want to change the world, be one of the change.
Rosalisa
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 02 Aug 2006
Posts: 295
Location: Cambodia

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