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Do you have jokes/riddles to share?


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Do you have jokes/riddles to share? #1 (permalink) Fri Mar 09, 2007 17:41 pm   Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

Hello forumers,

I watch a lot of American TV shows and movies and sometimes I didn't get the part I was suppose to laugh.

So I verily hope to hear some (jokes or riddles) from the forumers and see whether I can challenge myself to tell a joke from my background in English (and see whether English-spoken people get them or not).

Any takers?

Nina
NinaZara
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 1168
Location: Malaysia (Cat city)

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? #2 (permalink) Sun Mar 11, 2007 1:34 am   Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

An ancient joke from the early 20th century or before. I used to make my linguistics students diagram the two possible structures that cause the misunderstanding.

HOTEL GUEST: Call me a taxi!
PORTER: Okay. You're a taxi!

Unfortunately, a lot of my favorite jokes are unfit for this forum, but I'll try to think of some more.
Jamie (K)
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Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Posts: 6552
Location: Detroit, Michigan, USA

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Do you have jokes/riddles to share? #3 (permalink) Sun Mar 11, 2007 1:45 am   Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

How about this funny headline:

Super Caley go Ballistic, Celtic are Atrocious

:lol: :lol: :lol:
_________________
"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." ~ Abraham Lincoln
Yankee
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Joined: 16 Apr 2006
Posts: 8316
Location: USA

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? #4 (permalink) Sun Mar 11, 2007 1:53 am   Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

This guy walks into his psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Saran-Wrap underwear.

The doctor walks in and says, "I can clearly see you're nuts."

(say it to yourself and you'll get the double-meaning. In typing it, I had to make a choice.)

---------------------------------

If you speak my name, I cease to exist.

What am I?
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Prezbucky
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What is Fleeble? #5 (permalink) Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:43 am   What is Fleeble?
 

Hi,

Fleeble is bigger than the universe.
Some rich people want to have fleeble.
Poor people have fleeble.
If we eat fleeble, we will die.
What is Fleeble? :lol:
_________________
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Rosalisa
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 02 Aug 2006
Posts: 314
Location: Cambodia

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? #6 (permalink) Sun Mar 11, 2007 8:08 am   Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

Thanks guys.

I really don't know the answers for the riddles, but if other forumers have the answers, let's share them ok.

Anyway, let me try.

Tom's :

Quote:
If you speak my name, I cease to exist.

What am I?


You are a coward?or somebody with funny name?

Give me some hints, please

Rosalisa's:

Quote:
Fleeble is bigger than the universe.
Some rich people want to have fleeble.
Poor people have fleeble.
If we eat fleeble, we will die.
What is Fleeble?


Rock?

I know, I'm lame.
NinaZara
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 1168
Location: Malaysia (Cat city)

What is Fleeble? #7 (permalink) Sun Mar 11, 2007 10:57 am   What is Fleeble?
 

Rosalisa wrote:
Hi,

Fleeble is bigger than the universe.
Some rich people want to have fleeble.
Poor people have fleeble.
If we eat fleeble, we will die.
What is Fleeble? :lol:


Here's my poor attempt:

gas?
Conchita
Language Coach


Joined: 26 Dec 2005
Posts: 2826
Location: Madrid, Spain

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? #8 (permalink) Sun Mar 11, 2007 11:04 am   Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

Quote:
If you speak my name, I cease to exist.

What am I?


It can't be 'Di' (as in 'Diana'), can it (the question would then have to read 'who am I?')?
Conchita
Language Coach


Joined: 26 Dec 2005
Posts: 2826
Location: Madrid, Spain

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? #9 (permalink) Sun Mar 11, 2007 11:16 am   Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

Yankee wrote:
How about this funny headline:

Super Caley go Ballistic, Celtic are Atrocious

:lol: :lol: :lol:


Sorry, Amy, but I don't see anything the least bit funny about it.

What am I missing? :? :(
Conchita
Language Coach


Joined: 26 Dec 2005
Posts: 2826
Location: Madrid, Spain

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? #10 (permalink) Sun Mar 11, 2007 12:30 pm   Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

Hi Conchita,

Please have another try. I have a clue for you. It's all about quantity. :D

Hi Nina (Your name is like one of my friends' names. :D )

So, Nina, please think about the clue. :D
_________________
If you want to change the world, be one of the change.
Rosalisa
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 02 Aug 2006
Posts: 314
Location: Cambodia

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? #11 (permalink) Sun Mar 11, 2007 12:43 pm   Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

Rosalisa wrote:
Hi Conchita,

Please have another try. I have a clue for you. It's all about quantity. :D


Could it be 'power'?
Conchita
Language Coach


Joined: 26 Dec 2005
Posts: 2826
Location: Madrid, Spain

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? #12 (permalink) Sun Mar 11, 2007 12:46 pm   Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

Conchita wrote:
What am I missing? :? :(


To appreciate the humor, you need to find a connection between Mary Poppins and football (soccer) in the UK. 8)
_________________
"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." ~ Abraham Lincoln
Yankee
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 16 Apr 2006
Posts: 8316
Location: USA

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? #13 (permalink) Sun Mar 11, 2007 12:51 pm   Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

NinaZara, here's one I saw on TV:

BUCK: Is it true your sister is marrying and X-ray doctor?
ROY: Yeah! He's the only one who can see anything in her!


I love jokes from old Borsht Belt comedians. When I was a kid I thought they were stupid, but now I think they're funny.

Here are some one-liners from a now-deceased Borsht Belt comedian named Henny Youngman:

The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do?" asks the patient. The doctor says "I'm mad at my neighbor!"

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."

A bum came up to me saying "I haven't eaten in two days!" I said, "You should force yourself!"

You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.

The more I think of you, the less I think of you.

A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. "Who is it?" "Blind man!" The woman opens the door. "Where do you want these blinds, lady?"

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Jamie (K)
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Posts: 6552
Location: Detroit, Michigan, USA

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? #14 (permalink) Sun Mar 11, 2007 13:02 pm   Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

Yankee wrote:
Conchita wrote:
What am I missing? :? :(


To appreciate the humor, you need to find a connection between Mary Poppins and football (soccer) in the UK. 8)


I got it now! :) Really good play on words -- I'm glad I asked!
Conchita
Language Coach


Joined: 26 Dec 2005
Posts: 2826
Location: Madrid, Spain

Do you have jokes/riddles to share? #15 (permalink) Sun Mar 11, 2007 13:22 pm   Do you have jokes/riddles to share?
 

Hi Conchita...

It's...please have another try...it's exactly bigger than the universe... :D
_________________
If you want to change the world, be one of the change.
Rosalisa
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 02 Aug 2006
Posts: 314
Location: Cambodia

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