TOEFL® essay samples: The Impacts of Global Warming On World Life

[Vuralorion]

Hello, i plan to take TOEFL exam on next june. This is my first experiment for writing essays. I know, it is not so good and short a bit, nevertheless i am waiting for your comments and criticism. thanks

The global warming is the one of the most important debates in 21th century. Simply, global warming refers that the consequences of the distortion on world atmosphere which are emerged through the heavy and dirty industrilization all over the world.

Eventhough global warming damages the world by weakenning the atmosphere, it is an inevitable result of industries and indirectly technology. Industries are vital for human beings in a way that produces necessary goods and services to survive. As people demand these goods and services and population grows, industries develop and increase their production capacity to meet the requirements of this rising population. From this point of view, industry and technology are the necessities for human beings. People need them to sruvive.

On the other hand, as industries expand, they require more land and resources to run production. Since they wipe out the trees to gain more clear land to set new factories and use more resources, the environment becomes unable to recover itself dramatically. As a result, world becomes an unconvenient place for humans and other creatures to live.

Therefore, people should make a choice between living in a healthy world with limited welfare and living in a destroyed world with high welfare and opportunities. In addition, people may tend to develop technologies which protect world against harming industrial effects.

[Alan]

Global warming is the one of the most important debates in 21th century. Simply, global warming refers TO the consequences of the distortion on world atmosphere which emerge through the heavy and dirty industriAlization all over the world.

Eventhough global warming damages the world by weakening the atmosphere, it is an inevitable result of industries and indirectly technology. Industries are vital for human beings in a way that produces necessary goods and services to survive. As people demand these goods and services and THE population grows, industries develop and increase their production capacity to meet the requirements of this rising population. From this point of view, industry and technology are the necessities for human beings. People need them to sURvive.

On the other hand, as industries expand, they require more land and resources to run production. Since they wipe out the trees to gain more clear land to ESTABLISH new factories and use more resources, the environment becomes unable to recover itself dramatically. As a result, THE world becomes an unconvenient place for humans and other creatures to live.

Therefore, people should make a choice between living in a healthy world with limited welfare and living in a destroyed world with high welfare and opportunities. In addition, people may tend to develop technologies which protect THE world against harmFUL industrial effects.

Alan
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English as a Second Language
You can read my ESL story Not Really

[Vuralorion]

thanks for amendments. so how do you score this essay; low? moderate? high?