TOEFL® essay: It’s better for children to grow up in the countryside than in...

[Dwdimov]

It’s better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

Some people think that it’s better for their children to grow up in the countryside; other people think that it’s better their children to grow up in a big city. Both possibilities have some advantages and disadvantages. I’ll give advantages of each approach and I’ll argue in favor of this that it’s better for children to grow up in the countryside.

In a society where money, career and convenience are important things, many people prefer to live in big cities. Consequently their children grow up there. In the following passage I’ll state some important aspects of the life in the big cities. People go to live there at many reasons. First, a big city provides many opportunities for career and education. For instance, If I live in South Dakota I’ll have chance to live in connection with nature but there are few universities and work positions. However if I live in New York I’ll have opportunity to choose between hundreds of universities and thousands free work positions. This connection If our children grow up in a big city, they will have chance to study in prestige school. Besides, they will be prepared for the life with strong competition.

However we know that the life in a big city has some disadvantages. For instance, stress is problem number one in a big city. That is why many people think that it’s better for their children to grow up in the countryside. The life there has many advantages. First, children, which grow up in the countryside, have chance to live with connection with nature. In most cases there are more calmly and they seldom suffer from psychical diseases in contrast with children which grow in a big city. The life in the countryside is not so dynamic than life in the big city. In the countryside there are few changes. For example, children often spend their childhood in one house, they study in one school, and their parents rarely change their work positions, which reflect negative on the children. To sum up, the life in the countryside is related to few problems than this in a big city.

In conclusion, I think that it’s better for children to grow up in the countryside. That is why, the first thing that we must save is health of our children.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between two university students (2)

[Jamilya]

Hi. I have written an essay. please, Anybody will check this.
We live in the world where the territory of population share on several area. There are the countryside and city life. While some believe that the life in the countryside is better. others are opposed to the countryside and choose the city living. In this essay. I will name some of the advantages and disadvantages of each approach and will argue in favor of living in the city life.

On the one hand, the city life is concentrated on the numerous of the convenience. There are a big house, offices, communications. technologies, the comfortable numerous transport. We have the possibility to more communicate and mix with other people, thereby provide themselves informations, the new relations and to live by the attractive frantic pace life.
In that time in the countryside is all this thing is absolutely absent.

On other hand, There is the the habitation in the countryside is very useful for health, because absence the (numerous) transport and all kinds of technologies do not block environment, hence the air and food is environmentally safe for living people.

In brief, I would like to say be that as it may everybody has the personality right to choose where and how to live itself. Everyone has the approach by a life by the nature, and proceeding from that I am personality who likes the life in all it displays, I choose the big city, because I person improving myself at all it relations of life.

[Kitosdad]

Hi. I have written an essay. please, Anybody will check this.
We live in the world where the territory of population share on several area. There are the countryside and city life. While some believe that the life in the countryside is better. others are opposed to the countryside and choose the city living. In this essay. I will name some of the advantages and disadvantages of each approach and will argue in favor of living in the city life.

On the one hand, the city life is concentrated on the numerous of the convenience. There are a big house, offices, communications. technologies, the comfortable numerous transport. We have the possibility to more communicate and mix with other people, thereby provide themselves informations, the new relations and to live by the attractive frantic pace life.
In that time in the countryside is all this thing is absolutely absent.

On other hand, There is the the habitation in the countryside is very useful for health, because absence the (numerous) transport and all kinds of technologies do not block environment, hence the air and food is environmentally safe for living people.

In brief, I would like to say be that as it may everybody has the personality right to choose where and how to live itself. Everyone has the approach by a life by the nature, and proceeding from that I am personality who likes the life in all it displays, I choose the big city, because I person improving myself at all it relations of life.

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Jamilya, you have a very long way to go before you should think about taking a TOEFL exam.
You MUST read, read, read.Only by reading and recognising your ideas of structuring sentences can you hope to improve. Tale your time. Read and understand not only what is being said, but the manner in which it is being said.

Kitos.
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Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Kitosdad]

It’s better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

Some people think that it’s better for their children to grow up in the countryside; other people think that it’s better their children to grow up in a big city. Both possibilities have some advantages and disadvantages. I’ll give advantages of each approach and I’ll argue in favor of this that it’s better for children to grow up in the countryside.

In a society where money, career and convenience are important things, many people prefer to live in big cities. Consequently their children grow up there. In the following passage I’ll state some important aspects of the life in the big cities. People go to live there at many reasons. First, a big city provides many opportunities for career and education. For instance, If I live in South Dakota I’ll have chance to live in connection with nature but there are few universities and work positions. However if I live in New York I’ll have opportunity to choose between hundreds of universities and thousands free work positions. This connection If our children grow up in a big city, they will have chance to study in prestige school. Besides, they will be prepared for the life with strong competition.

However we know that the life in a big city has some disadvantages. For instance, stress is problem number one in a big city. That is why many people think that it’s better for their children to grow up in the countryside. The life there has many advantages. First, children, which grow up in the countryside, have chance to live with connection with nature. In most cases there are more calmly and they seldom suffer from psychical diseases in contrast with children which grow in a big city. The life in the countryside is not so dynamic than life in the big city. In the countryside there are few changes. For example, children often spend their childhood in one house, they study in one school, and their parents rarely change their work positions, which reflect negative on the children. To sum up, the life in the countryside is related to few problems than this in a big city.

In conclusion, I think that it’s better for children to grow up in the countryside. That is why, the first thing that we must save is health of our children.
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A very well written essay Dwdimov. Certainly there are a few errors or omissions, but not serious enough to worry about. I would suggest that you do a self-review and see if you can spot them yourself.

Kitos. 8/10
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.

[Jamilya]

Kitosdad, Thank you for your comment. Is is very important for me.
but I am going to pass my toefl examination in 12 may, may be I cant do it.

[Kitosdad]

Jamilya, Please post your essay as a "New Topic."
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.