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Paragraph: 'She was 13 and going to shopping with her parents. The road...'



 
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Examples of the positions of appositive nouns | Usage of 'would be' in english sentences
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Paragraph: 'She was 13 and going to shopping with her parents. The road...' Wed Mar 21, 2007 12:14 pm  Paragraph: 'She was 13 and going to shopping with her parents. The road...'
 

Hi

Could you please tell me if the following lines sound correct and natural to you? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! I am more concerned about the red parts. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Quote:
She was 13 and going shopping with her parents. The road was busier than ever because it was only six days to Christmas. Her mother was sitting in the back seat with her four-year-old brother, Jack, who was constantly crying for severe tummy ache."I don't think it's severe any more. He is just being a stubborn actor," her mother said with frustration.
.

Thanks in advance

Tom
Tom
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Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 1976

Paragraph: 'She was 13 and going to shopping with her parents. The road...' Wed Mar 21, 2007 13:15 pm  Paragraph: 'She was 13 and going to shopping with her parents. The road...'
 

Hi Tom

'Six days to Christmas' and 'four-year-old brother' are fine.

"...Jack, who was constantly crying for severe tummy ache." -- This is odd. It means that Jack kept saying that he wanted to have a severe tummy ache. What about saying:
"... who was crying continuously that his tummy hurt."

Amy
Yankee
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Joined: 16 Apr 2006
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Paragraph: 'She was 13 and going to shopping with her parents. The road...' Thu Mar 22, 2007 7:54 am  Paragraph: 'She was 13 and going to shopping with her parents. The road...'
 

Yankee wrote:
"...Jack, who was constantly crying for severe tummy ache." -- This is odd. It means that Jack kept saying that he wanted to have a severe tummy ache. What about saying:
"... who was crying continuously that his tummy hurt."

Amy

Many thanks, Amy

Here is another question.

If my brother is constantly crying and you ask me:

Amy: "What is crying for, Tom?


So, according to the explanation that you gave me, I can't say:

Tom: "tummy ache"

...because it would mean that he wants "tummy ache".

Do you understand my point, Amy?

Please shed some light on this.

Tom
Tom
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Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 1976

Paragraph: 'She was 13 and going to shopping with her parents. The road...' Thu Mar 22, 2007 16:32 pm  Paragraph: 'She was 13 and going to shopping with her parents. The road...'
 

Hi Tom

It's a different usage of 'for' -- the word 'for' has a lot of different meanings and usages. Look at it this way:

"What for?" = "Why?"
"For what reason is he crying?" = "Why is he crying?"
BUT (!)
"What is he crying for?" has two possible meanings:
1. Why is he crying?
2. What does he want?

If the question is 'why', then you have to use a word such as 'because' or 'because of' to give the reason after the question. You cannot use 'for' to mean 'because of' in your sentence.

Ask for/beg for/cry for/shout for/scream for/whine for/long for/yearn for something -- all of these can be used to mean (in essence) 'request something' or 'want something'.

Amy
Yankee
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Joined: 16 Apr 2006
Posts: 7248
Location: New England

Paragraph: 'She was 13 and going to shopping with her parents. The road...' Fri Mar 23, 2007 3:26 am  Paragraph: 'She was 13 and going to shopping with her parents. The road...'
 

" She was 13 and going shopping with her parents. The road was busier than ever because it was only six days to Christmas. Her mother was sitting in the back seat with her four-year-old brother, Jack, who was constantly crying for severe tummy ache."I don't think it's severe any more. He is just being a stubborn actor," her mother said with frustration. "

Everything is fine...But I have one question.

In the above sentence when she is saying " mother sitting....with her.....". What does the pronoun 'her' here refers to..I think this is ambiguous here...whether it refers to the girl or her mother?

Yankee, can you please explain this, whether i am wrong.
Swordfish117
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Joined: 24 Jan 2007
Posts: 8

Paragraph: 'She was 13 and going to shopping with her parents. The road...' Fri Mar 23, 2007 8:52 am  Paragraph: 'She was 13 and going to shopping with her parents. The road...'
 

Hi Swordfish117,
Her is not ambiguous, to my mind. Her refers to the girl (her four-year-old brother). Her is used 4 times: her parents, her brother, her mother(2).Though there is not much context provided, I think it's a narration about the girl(aged 13). But, perhaps, someone may understand the pronoun ambiguosly, I don't deny that Wink
Pamela
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Joined: 14 Mar 2006
Posts: 1231
Location: RF

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