TOEFL® essay samples: Teenagers have jobs while they are still students

[Bill06]

Please correct my writing, thanks in advance.

Teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea?

In some countries, teenage has job when they are students. I think that it is not good for teenage student to have a job. I believe this is because that it would affect their education, harm their health and cause some social problems.

Firstly, it affects a student’s education if a student has a job. For receiving a good education, a students should spend a lot of time on it, especially today, the knowledge is exploring. So if a student wants to receive enough education, he or she should spend whole their time on studying. If a student has to work while he or she is at studying, it must occupy a lot of his time and limits the time spending on study.

Secondly, having a job for teenage would hurt their health. Working is stressful from both mental and physical sides. To hold a job, you should be on time as scheduled, have to finish assigned tasks and to solve the problems that come out with your job. Teenage has not become mature enough to endure this kind of pressure, thus it may affect their health.

Lastly, teenage working is not good for a community. The job positions are limited for a society, if the teenage takes a part of job opportunities, some adults would lose their job. The jobless adults may become alcoholic or depressed, which may harm the social stability.

In conclusion, I think that teenage has a job is not a good thing. Their education and health may be affected and also it is harmful for a society because it may cause more jobless adults.

[Alan]

In some countries, teenageRS haVE jobS when they are students. I think that it is not good for teenage student to have a job. I believe this is because it would affect their education, harm their health and cause some social problems.

Firstly, it affects a student’s education if a student has a job. For receiving a good education, students should spend a lot of time on it, especially today, the knowledge is exploring??. So if a student wants to receive enough education, he or she should spend THE whole time on studying. If a student has to work while he or she is at studying, it must occupy a lot of his time and limits the time spenTon study.

Secondly, having a job for teenageRS would hurt their health. Working is stressful from both mental and physical sides. To hold a job, you should be on time as scheduled, have to finish assigned tasks and to solve the problems that come out with your job. A teenageR has not become mature enough to endure this kind of pressure, thus it may affect their health.

Lastly, teenage working is not good for a community. The job positions are limited IN a society, if the teenageR takes a part of job opportunities, some adults would lose their job. The jobless adults may become alcoholic or depressed, which may harm the social stability.

In conclusion, I think that IF A teenageR has a job IT is not a good thing. Their education and health may be affected and also it is harmful for society because it may cause more jobless adults.


Alan
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English as a Second Language
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[Oksana2340]

Hi, would you please glance at my essay? I would appreciate!

In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

It became such a normal thing in our society that a student, being a teenager, works and studies at the same time. Some of my friends think that having a job when you are at high school negatively affect teenage health and grades at school. But I think it is a good idea for teenagers to have jobs while they are students because they can learn about responsibility; they can learn the value of money and they can learn how to work as a member of a team.

I support the statement because, in my opinion, jobs help folks be responsible, more self-disciplined and able to manage financial means according to their spending needs. I am fully convinced that even a non-professional position, for instance at fast food restaurants, help students develop and improve personal skills such as communication skills, ability to work in team as well as ability to work under pressure, etc. I think having a job at high school enables teenagers learn of the principles of being a part of business organization. And this experience will definitely help in any company he will work in the future.

While I look at the advantages for students to have a job, a number of my friends disagree and bring their disadvantages for letting teenage students work while attending high school. Their strongest reason among all other ones is that a job negatively affects teenage health. They think that the school program of high school is developed so that students spend their time studying at home too. Their jobs, being the biggest distracter, do not leave the students enough time to do their homework and as a result lead them to score poor on final tests.

Summarizing all mentioned above, we can say that despite the opposing opinions about the statement, it becomes more a common thing rather than abnormal that teenagers have jobs while they are still students. The early work experience helps the students grow mature professionally and personally as well as become less financially dependent on their parents.

[Olivia]

Mr.Alan, whould you do me a favor ?correct it ,thank you very much

In China, we traditionally encourage young people to learn to be independent when they go to the college. They usually work part time and pay for tuition themself. But how about teenagers? Should they have job when they are a student? From my point of view, I think teenagers shouldn't have to work. There are three reaons to support my opinion.

Firstly, teenagers can not concentrate on their studies if they have to work. As we know, the admissions for competitive universities and colleges requires the applicant to have a good score on some admissions test. For example, the TOEFL or GRE tests are required to many universities when they consider of enrolling students. It is not easy to get a good score on these kinds of tests.Thus, teenagers should study hard and spend lots of time on their courses and lessons. In other words, if teenagers work part time, they would waste an enormous amount of energy to work and earn money. As a result, they will be more likely to get a lower score on the tests, and therefore not get into an ideal college or university.

Secondly, teenagers are growing up at this time, and laborious work may do harm to their bodies. In my experience, when I was 14 years old, I wanted to earn some money to buy a PSP which I wanted. In order to get it, I had to send newspaper every morning for three months. I was tired becuase of the heavy burden of studying and working my body stopped growing. When my parents payed for it, I didn't work anymore. My body grew faster and both my weight and height made significant changes. I also became much more stronger. Therefore, It's a key of period that teenagers grow up from child into adult, doing some heavy work will influence their health,even cause the disease.

Thirdly,the pressure of working and the expection of wealth will produce negatively impacts on teenagers' thought or mind. They are very young people,and their thoughts or minds are not matural.when they are attractive to earn money but can not work well ,they will be easy to being frastrusted ,furthermore ,formating a passitive attitude when they face other things. In the end,these kinds of factors will cause spirit harm on teenagers .
In a net shell,it's impossible that teenagers work well when they are in the school.They should concentrate their energy on learning basic knownlege and accquiring foundamental techenics ,at the same time,they also need to attend vrious sports and activities to strong their bodies .I think that they should work at an appropriated age or when they go to college.

[Gray]