Poem "What's that to me if the end of the world will come..."

[Volcano1985]

Hello
Anyone can check this poem if it has any mistake

The Heaven

What's that to me if the end of the world will come
If the way of life will finish i want now
I have no fright;i am happy
I loved the love with you in my lifetime

The name of the lines on my face is you
You are the reason for my every breath

If i come to the world again my darling,
I will look for you,I will love you again
I don't change the heaven for a wire of your hair
I will love you as long as I live

[Mister Micawber]

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Poems are notoriously difficult to 'check', Volcano-- the poet may have other priorities than grammar, punctuation, or meter. Here are a few things I would fix:

Heaven

What's that to me if the end of the world will come,
If the way of life will finish I want now?
I have no fear; I am happy.
I loved the love with you in my lifetime.

The name of the lines on my face is you--
You are the reason for my every breath.

If I come to the world again, my darling,
I will look for you, I will love you again.
I wouldn't change heaven for a strand of your hair.
I will love you as long as I live.


Beyond the lack of punctuation, my main observation is that this is not a poem; it is a plaint. Why do you think that you have written a poem, Volcano?
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Native English teacher at Mister Micawber's

[Volcano1985]

Thanks for your fixs.No i haven't written.It is just a poem whose song has been made :wink:

[Yankee]

Hi Volcano

Do you mean it's a translation? From some other language into English?

Amy
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"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." ~ Abraham Lincoln

[Volcano1985]

Yes it is.I translated it from Turkish to English.Every time i see some differences in these translations.For example some fixs don't give the same meaning.I think it is ok because languages have their own specialities