TOEFL essay samples: Movies are popular all over the world

[TranTolinh]

Dear teachers
Can you check this essay for me? Many thanks

As early as the 1860s, after arising,films rapidly have become a necessary component of populace .Their impacts have covered all over the world ,from aged persons to young ones , and more developed through the time.

The first reason for movies' widespread popularity is that movies are filmed with abundant genres, for example horror, cartoon, or action films ,etc...., with lively sounds and truthful images(I cant think out another word ). films generate a fancy world in which all of people's dreams can become the truth, for instance going to the paradise or marrying a fairy, or it can be the way people live in this life with love and hatefulness , with the truth and inveracity...You can be startled when you watch horrors ,or you also cry when the main actor dies.It is films to give you feelings that sometimes you cant get from your real life. Therefore , films is where people feel satisfied a lot.

We cant pay no attention to the importance of the development of refining films' qualities. Films, along with time, evolved from silent films to films with impressive techniques .In the first day , citizens could only watch silent films with flickerings. But after a bulky of reforms ,especially adding dubbing and subtiles in almost films ,films are no more in theirs producing country and spread over the boder to enter other ones. And it is important that films producers use marketing tactics and a number of attractive actors to magnetize viewers .

Thirdly,you can watch films without matter where you are, or who you are .Before the 1860s, you couldnt watch movies as you wanted ;you must depend on theatres.That bad circumstance no longer exists now that you can watch movies anywhere you need even though you are old or young with the support of internet,television,theaters,so on; Films dont distinguish your ages or where you are standing, namely you are at the station or bus or anywhere else is the same. It is clear that you always take controls of your time that is the most vital thing to busy people.

General speaking , movies are wide-liked through the time. There is certain to be more popular in films when they are more perfect with intensive films scripts , attractive young actors and especially with the assistance of the Internet in advertising .

P/S: I have read that we shouldn't use " they, I , We" in academic essays because it is so personal and not objective. But I think it is ok when I use "they" to displace "films" . Is it right?

[Alan]

As early as the 1860s, after MAKING AN APPEARANCE,films rapidly have become a necessary component of populace/PART OF PEOPLE'S LIVES .Their impact haS REACHED all over the world ,from OLD PEOPLE to young ones , and HAVE developed through time.

The first reason for movies' widespread popularity is that movies are filmed with abundant genres, for example horror, cartoon, or action films ,etc...., with lively sounds and truthful images(I can't think OF another word ). films generate a fancIFUL world in which all of people's dreams can COME TRUE, for instance going to paradise or marrying a fairy, or it can be the way people live in this life with love and hatefulness , with truth and LIES..You can be startled when you watch horrors ,or you also cry when the main actor dies.It is films THAT give you feelings that sometimes you cant get from your real life. Therefore , films HELP people feel satisfied a lot.

We can't pay ANY attention to the importance of the development of refining films' qualities. Films, along with time, evolved from silent films to films with impressive techniques .In the first dayS , citizens could only watch silent films with flickering PICTURES. But after a LOT OF IMPROVEMENTS ,especially adding dubbing and subtiles in almost ALL films ,films are no LONGER MADE in their producing country BUT spread over the boder??/ACROSS THE WORLD to enter other ones. And it is important that film producers use marketing tactics and a number of attractive actors to magnetize viewers .

Thirdly,you can watch films ANYwhere you are, or who you are .Before the 1860s, you couldnt watch movies as you wanted ;you HAD TO depend on theatres.That bad circumstance no longer exists now AS you can watch movies anywhere you need even though you are old or young with the support of THE internet,television,theaters,so on; Films dont distinguish your ages or where you are standing, namely you are at the station or bus or anywhere else IT is the same. It is clear that you always take control of your time AND that is the most vital thing to busy people.

GeneralLY speaking , movies are wideLY-liked through time. There is certain to be more popular in films when they are more perfect with intensive film scripts , attractive young actors and especially with the assistance of the Internet in advertising .

P/S: I have read that we shouldn't use " they, I , We" in academic essays because it is so personal and not objective. But I think it is ok when I use "they" to displace "films" . Is it right?

YES, THAT'S ALL RIGHT

Alan
_________________
English as a Second Language
You can read my ESL story Briefly

[TranTolinh]

thanks for your checking

[Grace]

But I think almost every question in TOEFL iBT goes like this:
Do "you" agree or disagree with... or something else that asks for "our" preference.
So I think we should and must include personal opinion, for that's what we are asked to.

[L1nk]

Dear Allan,

Can you please kindly check my essay for this question. Thanks.

Who never saw a movie? I believe of course we all have. Nowadays, movie becomes a “must have it” entertainment. From children to adult, from country to city, even all over the world love watching movie. What is so good about it so it can be so popular? Well, these are some facts about movie that might answer that question.

Movie is a like a description about real life. What people see in movie usually reflects what really happens in their common life. Let’s take a romantic movie as an example. In that movie, the audiences are able to see the visualized of what happens when two peoples fall in love. It feels so real to them as they begin to picture their own life such as what’s presented on the screen. No wonder sometimes audience can cry when the movie shows a sad scene, or laugh when the fun scene appears. This could happen because they feel like what’s on the movie is so real just like in their everyday life.

Unlike radio, in movie you can hear and see at the same time. This is another reason why movie can be very attractive. It is easier for audience to understand and enjoy this entertainment as they’re able to hear and visualized the story at the same time.

Nowadays, movies even made with high technologies which produce a high quality of picture and sound. Many people watch movie to see something extraordinary that is beyond their imagination. With an amazing special effect, sound and picture become more real. This could bring a huge curiosity for peoples to watch the movie.

To sum up, peoples love an entertainment that feels real to them. Movie of course has all the criteria that can fulfill what most of people need to get from an entertainment. That’s why movie is so popular in our society.