TOEFL essay: It's impossible to have a family and a career at the same time

[Hopeless_Girl]

Family and career roles are interrelated. Traditional sex roles have influenced the nature of the family-career relationship. Family structure has been changed and desire to have a child is stifled by professional aspirations. It is the fact that, starting a family is for both men and women a life’s challenge. In my opinion it is possible to reconcile family life with achieving successes in work.

To begin with, many women are encouraged by governments in West Europe to give birth to a baby, because highly developed societies in the next few dozens of years will certainly have to deal with lack of young employees. Many efforts have been made to improve situation of working mothers such as extending of the maternity leave and introducing special child benefit. A family-friendly policy is pursued in many countries and this is shown by the fact that more and more entrepreneurs are readily giving more flexible working conditions. In other words, women who come back from maternity leave are not put under any pressure and are able to plan their working hours to suit their needs, as a result employees gain very motivated, grateful and loyal staff.

Secondly, family is essential element of our lives, since most people are convinced that career is not enough to bring complete happiness. Needless to say, we work to live, we don’t live to work. That is to say, a lonely person has to overcome every difficulty on his own, not to mention that in case of any failure he cannot count on family’s support. Moreover, if we want to derive pleasure from professional as well as domestic life the balance between them must be achieved. The key here is selecting the right work environment. For instance, good childcare facilities makes it possible for parents to go to work, and short distances between home and work mean more time with the family.

In contrast, there are some people who claim that female biological function is reproduction, so she should first and foremost devote herself to creating comfortable family environment, instead of enduring job tensions. They point out that women should not combine maternal and job responsibilities, since the quality of performance will be negatively affected. Nonetheless, many politicians and celebrities are proof that it is possible to have not only a successful career, but also a rewarding and enjoyable personal life as well.

Taking this points into consideration, I would say that having a family and a career at the same time is not only possible but also crucial if we want to enjoy true fulfillment in life. While many years' debate about the conditions of working parents have created a high degree of awareness, and some companies heighten their profile by respecting their employees' need for time with their families, the necessity to set appropriate priorities without sacrificing either side has always been perplexing, and remains so today. It is up to us how to find a balance.

I'd be grateful for any comments on above essay

[Alan]

Family and career roles are interrelated. Traditional sex roles have influenced the nature of the family-career relationship. Family structure has been changed and THE desire to have a child is stifled by professional aspirations. It is A fact that, starting a family is for both men and women a life challenge. In my opinion it is possible to reconcile family life with achieving success in work.

To begin with, many women are encouraged by governments in West Europe to give birth to a baby/TO HAVE A CHILD, because highly developed societies in the next few dozens of years will certainly have to deal with A lack of young employees. Many efforts have been made to improve THE situation of working mothers such as extending of the maternity leave and introducing special child benefit. A family-friendly policy is pursued in many countries and this is shown by the fact that more and more entrepreneurs are readily giving/PROVIDING more flexible working conditions. In other words, women who come back from maternity leave are not put under any pressure and are able to plan their working hours to suit their needs. As a result employees gain very motivated, grateful and loyal staff.

Secondly, THE family is AN essential element of our lives, since most people are convinced that A/YOUR career is not enough to bring complete happiness. Needless to say, we work to live, we don’t live to work. That is to say, a lonely person has to overcome every difficulty on his own, not to mention that in THE/A case of any failure he cannot count on family support. Moreover, if we want to derive pleasure from professional as well as domestic life the balance between them must be achieved. The key here is selecting the right work environment. For instance, good childcare facilities makes it possible for parents to go to work, and short distances between home and work mean more time with the family.

In contrast, there are some people who claim that THE female biological function is reproduction, so she should first and foremost devote herself to creating A comfortable family environment, instead of enduring job tensions. They point out that women should not combine maternal and job responsibilities, since the quality of performance will be negatively affected. Nonetheless, many politicians and celebrities are proof that it is possible to have not only a successful career, but also a rewarding and enjoyable personal life as well.

Taking thESE points into consideration, I would say that having a family and a career at the same time is not only possible but also crucial if we want to enjoy true fulfillment in life. While many years OF debate about the conditions of working parents have created a high degree of awareness, and some companies heighten their profile by respecting their employees' need for time with their families, the necessity to set appropriate priorities without sacrificing either side has always been perplexing, and remains so today. It is up to us how to find a balance.



This is a very good piece of writing. There are a few problems with the use of the articles 'a' and 'the'. You might like to look at some material I've written for the site at: http://www.english-test.net/lessons/16/index.html

Alan
_________________
English as a Second Language
You can read my ESL story Conditionals

[Hopeless_Girl]

Hi Alan,
You've become my new idol. You're right, I have problem wit hthe use of the articles. The reason is that in Polish there are no articles or even anything similar to them.

I really appreciate your help.