How do you deal with your feeling down?

[Rosalisa]

Hi everybody,

Have you ever encountered loss in something? Have you ever felt realy down when you failed to do anything? Imagine, you join a competition or quiz show but at the end, you don't win. How do you feel and how do you cope with it?
_________________
If you want to change the world, be one of the change.

[Jamie (K)]

My grandmother said that when we kids lost a girlfriend or boyfriend we should just work a lot to keep occupied.

If I join a competition of some kind, and I lose, I don't have to do anything special to cope with it, because in most cases I don't care if I win or not. Before I enter, I keep in mind what my real numerical chances of winning are, and I also keep in mind that there could be other people in the contest who are better than I am. If I do that, losing is no big deal, and winning is a joy.

Sometimes it's winning that I have a problem with. Once, at a company where I worked, I won dinner for two at a famous, elegant restaurant, because I had come in first in a competition to write the worst first paragraph to a nonexistent romance novel. It takes a very good, creative writer to write something truly bad, and the paragraph I wrote was really terrible. The problem was that I didn't want the prize; I only wanted to see if I could win. When they gave me the gift certificates for the expensive dinner, I handed them over to a man in an office down the hall, so that he could take his wife out to dinner. He and his wife were very happy about it, so I felt like I had won twice.

[NinaZara]

Hi Rosa!

I got a lot (well not that a lot)of this "feeling down" when I was preparing sort of an "A level" for Japanese universities and also during my first year in Japan.

The first was when I had to attend classes from 7:20 in the morning until 6:40 p.m. which included a 4 hour of Japanese language class but sometimes until 8 or 9 if my Japanese teacher made us all stay for extra exams.I remember crying the first few months everytime my father called me and telling him that I want to quit the program.Now I think it was silly. I think we all (me and my friends in the same course) stuck together and supported each other along being competitive. And the Japanese teachers were so kind and very very supportive.

But I think when you work a lot you just don't have the time to be feeling anything, plus when I got bad marks for my papers my teacher will instantly occupied me with extra works.

But the latter was definitely tougher. During the first year I didn't understand a word of what the professors were saying.Surprisingly, my Japanese teachers in Malaysia speaks "standard" Japanese.My first thought was, "Oh my God, how am I going to get through this?" I was so used to being spoon-fed.

So along with occupying myself with the studies I developed a new hobby. Rearranging furnitures! Whenever my mind got troubled with something I rearrange the furnitures or do the housework.My roommate of my second year noticed this pattern of me and she will start asking, "What's troubling you now?" but my roommate of last year just called me a compulsive housewife.

But it works, if you want to forget what's troubling you for a while, but if it is a problem I think there's no way of running from it.

But when something sad happened, or something that made me angry but I cannot do anything about it, for example if I got angry with my father but I just couldn't be angry with him (because I love him so much), I just cried myself to sleep.

Nina

p/s: You must think I cry a lot, ha?
_________________
Okotteru Papa mo suki dakedo, nikoniko yasashii Papa ha mo~tto suki!

[proalyssa199]

If I fail to do something, eg. fulfill my goal, I will consider them a challenge as well as an experience. Although I fail, I couldn't leave out my efforts to obtain my goal. I myself recognize some improvements in my process, which is not discouraged at all! That's the way I often self-console every time I break down

[prezbucky]

I wrote songs about her.


_________________
Billie Jean is not my lover. Hee.

[Rosalisa]

Hi all

Thank you very much for your good ideas to my question.
_________________
If you want to change the world, be one of the change.

[aleaf]

every time when i feel blue i go to gym and jog on the running machine for one hour while clarifing my thoughts. Step off the machine i feel so exhausted that blue thoughts are nowhere.
when the runing machine can't help me i just call my best friend and share my thoughts with her. But it is not commom.
But as to the case you mentioned above -lose a competition or quize, i won't feel blue for it. Losing is a kind of life i must suck up. As long as i have made all my efforts, it will be enough.
_________________
Try to change youself before you try to change others.

[*Delta*]

am really bad at those situations
i cry and feel stressed
i don't know how to deal with those kind of break downs
it gets me down just to think about it
but then i talk a friend, and things get better
i forget fastly and that's great
_________________
A Life Unfolds .. No One Knows

[Rosalisa]

Hi Delta,

I feel we still experience feeling down after failing in a competition; however, it's a relief when we can understand it better afterwards and forget it fast.
_________________
If you want to change the world, be one of the change.