TOEFL® essay: Only people who earn a lot of money are successful in lives

[Musica]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful in lives. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Some people seem to believe that the richer one is, the more he gets success. Money sometimes may reflect people’s success. Nevertheless, I disagree that just only wealthy people are successful in lives. Throughout my life, I have fortunately seen a lot of people who have become successful. Those are not well-off, but they have a feeling of well-being. My beloved parents, for example, they feel quite happy because they have a good son and I myself do not add burden upon them. They also have good jobs and good health, which enables them to bolster their family up till now. Besides, although both of them do not have a lot of money, they still gain whatever they need, which makes them feel happiness in lives. All of these demonstrate that we can gain success in no need of wealth. Furthermore, I have known many people gaining achievements by winning recognition. Jesus Christ, for instance, he was born in the carpenter family which is not rich at all. He had dedicated his lifetime to helping people transcend suffering and attain love as well as happiness. His teachings guide people to show compassion and forgiveness toward others. Then, his principles have been incrementally accepted and he finally became the founder of Christianity. Though the Lord Jesus passed away long time ago, the Holy Bible are always believed and respected by worldwide Christians and he himself also gain recognition from many people all over the world. Last but not least, I also consider education the symbol of people’s success. Education is the ticket that give rise to achievement and I have already proved that it is true myself. I am now assured that I have much success in a certain level. That is I could matriculate and have just graduated with honor. Now, I am happy and ready to be considered for a decent job. Another remarkable person is my English teacher. He obtains his Ph.D. with GPA 3.98 from the University of Virginia. He is able to utilize his deeply thorough knowledge to manage his work and to sharpen his life. All of these can be proved that it is not only wealth that shows people’s success. Having a lot of money does not always define people’s achievements. There are therefore many people who feel quite successful although they are not rich. It is true money may reflect people’s success, but it does not guarantee we will be happy in lives. We all, however, have different criteria that judge our own achievements. As for me, wellbeing, education, and recognition do define my invaluable success. If the things you have make you feel happy, then why should you strive for more money? Please commend my writing and help improve, thank you krub

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between two students in their first class of the term

[Pal]

Hello Mr Alan,
please amend this essay. Thanks for being there for me.
Florx.
'Success' they say 'is the friut of hard labour.' If I must go by this saying, I will not hesitate to support the above saying with the following reasons and examples

Nowadays, one can only succeed if only he has enough money. For a example, in this era where the present economic downturn has not only affected the developing countries but the developed ones as well, achieving good education out side one's country is highly expensive and this can only be afforded with enough money. One of the routes to acquire wealth is being educated, and this will fetch one a good job which will certainly makes one rich. Without money this can not be aquired.

Again, one can only indulge in/establish a successful business with a huge capital{money} and when the said business is properly managed, much gain will be achieved. With the huge gain, one can meet all his needs as well as the needs of others. On the reverse, those who do not have money, can not indulge in any reasonable business talkless of being able to afford their daily meals or even meeting the needs of other people.

Moreso, the desire to aspire to a greater height in life will cease to be a daydream when there is enough money to execute the plan. With money, one can seek for advice, purchase his wants, acquire wealth, etc. By so doing, he or she will acquire his goals and objectives at the appropriate time.

In conclusion, our today successful fellows are seen to be able to acquire better education, good houses, make better names, charter for others who are in need, etc. Therefore, success can only be acquired with money.

[Ada Luminare]

i really don't think "in conclusion" is necessary!

[Kitosdad]

Ada, is that the only fault you see in the essay ?
_________________
Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting.