TOEFL® essay: What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult?

[Hemaxijv]

Transition from a child to adult is a gradual process. General characteristics that distinguish a child from an adult are innocent thinking, carefree attitude and forgiving nature. Many experiences may attribute to this change some of which I will discuss below.

First of all, kids realise from day to day incidents that sometimes people fool them b'coz of their innocence. Like parents telling kids that they will be gone for a little time; in real they come back after 8 hrs of job. So gradually child realizes and becomes smart as he grows old. He develops an insight of real situation. Gradually he becomes smart and that is when he matures into an adult. Age is not the factor, it is the thinking.

Also children are easygoing people. They are happy in every way. They have no responsibilities. But as they grow up they are taught to be reliable and dependable. They learn that being negligient can result in serious damages. When a child really learns and realizes that how to take important decisions or be responsible can he be considered an adult.

Additionally children are usually kind hearted and forgiving. They will cry for something and then forget it after few minutes. Kids will fight and then play with same person like nothing had ever happened. They forget and forgive very easily. In contrast it is very hard for adults to follow the same path. If I had a fight with my friend I won't talk to her for maybe 3-4 days. I can never forgive so easily. I will keep thinking about it and why it happened. So I believe that when a child matures he becomes more self-concerned and can't forget if someone hurts him. Such incidents make a child an adult.

There are myriad events that can be responsible for maturing a child into an adult and I think all take place over number of years. No convertion is overnight. Small events through which child realizes the way world around him works, are responsible to change the way he thinks and acts. Thus converting him into an adult.

[Jamie (K)]

Nobody's truly an adult until his parents are dead.

[Illusion2005]

Yours one is good.
I would appreciate if someone can tell me about my essay.
Thanks.
What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult?

A child and an adult are different from each other physically and mentally. In general, age differentiates a child from an adult. A child has some characteristics and when he grows to be an adult he acquires some other characteristics through experiences and knowledge. In my opinion when a child is capable enough to make his own decision and take care of himself and his family, he becomes an adult.

Our parents take care of us when we are children. We do not have to think about our food, clothing or shelter. They provide us these necessities. As we grow older we learn to take care of ourselves gradually. We learn that our parents cannot be with us all the time when we go to school. We begin to learn to make friends and socialize with other people. When a child has the knowledge and experience to make his own decision about his own life. In my case, I think I became an adult when my parents allow me to do a part time job in a fast food restaurant. They thought I was mature enough to make any decision about my life. For me it was a feeling of entering into adulthood.

The most important event, which makes a person an adult, is when he gets married and has children of his own. Now he has to think not only about himself but also about other family members. He is responsible for the well being of the family. Now he has to help his children to become adults.

To conclude, a child becomes an adult when he reaches a definite age and becomes a capable person who can take care of himself.

[Lost_Soul]