| Expression: 'a lot of' (She has a lot of pressure to deal with) | 'plenty of' vs 'many' vs 'a lot of' |
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 Wed Jun 27, 2007 4:36 am Kindly check grammar and vocabulary for "SUMMER SEASON" |
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Summer season.
As I was a child, I liked summer season the most. It is the season that I didn’t need to go to school; I could go out with my friends all the day.
The memory of those days is still as clear as it happened yesterday. We went to the vegetable, bean, and peanut field to help our friend’s family harvest. In the afternoon, we went to the dune and found shells, then found an oasis to have our lunch that we brought with us. We singed and played our traditional games until the sun downed. After any visit to my friend home, I always came back with a bag full of longans and peaches!
Different from the autumn which is called fall, the summer is the season of flamboyant, a kind of plant that has bright red flowers. Whenever we see the red-sky with these flowers, we know the summer begins. I like this kind flower and its color. I still remember once day, my sister wanted to make some man-made carts for her friends and she needed some flamboyant flowers to design as a butterfly. I volunteered to shin up the tree to pluck flowers for her. The tree was high and its flowers were out of my reach. I had to shin to its brand, and then the brand broke with me. It was lucky to me that I got no paint. I pulled the whole brand to her and we made such a pretty carts with petals for her friends.
Summer is the point of time for examination season, for graduation, for parting also. Many friends of mine feel sad when it comes, but on my side, it has never been sadness. I have to try my best to focus on my study. It is the happy time that finally I graduate to begin my new period of life. It is also the time that I realize that how I am lucky since I have such good friends that when we take apart, I know they are a part of my life. |
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woodbk13
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Joined: 04 Jun 2007
Posts: 9
Location: VN
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| Thu Jun 28, 2007 6:13 am Kindly check grammar and vocabulary for "SUMMER SEASON" |
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| It seems to me that the article was written by two different authors: the third paragraph (from 'Different from the autumn...' to '...such a pretty carts with petals for her friends') by one and the rest by the other. I also have a feeling that the latter (the rest) is such a good narrative that it could be included in a textbook while the former (3rd paragraph) with no small number of problems of which I would like to leave the proofreading to an English teacher. |
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Haihao
I'm a Communicator ;-)
Joined: 26 Oct 2006
Posts: 1297
Location: Japan
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| Mon Jul 02, 2007 4:54 am Kindly check grammar and vocabulary for "SUMMER SEASON" |
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Hi Haihao,
This article was written by me, by myself! It is just my feeling when the summer begins here. Thank you for your comments. Could you show me the problems that you mentioned in the 3rd paragraph?
This is the way to improve my written skill at home. I often write some articles like this when I have free time, this is the second time I posted it in this webside. The first is a short one that I traslated from one of my favorite book.
Anyway, must to say "arigato"  |
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woodbk13
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Joined: 04 Jun 2007
Posts: 9
Location: VN
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| Mon Jul 02, 2007 6:32 am Kindly check grammar and vocabulary for "SUMMER SEASON" |
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OK, let me make a try for it but first of all, I'd like to appologize to you for that wrong guess I made, and also I'd like to say that I am not a native speaker or an English teacher so my try would only be for your reference but not as an answer.
Different from autumn, which is called 'fall' in the United States, summer is a season full of flamboyant flowers. When a red-sky along with these flowers comes into our sights, we know the summer season has begun. I like this kind of flowers and their colors. I still remember that one day my sister wanted to make some carts for her friends and needed some flamboyant flowers to decorate them as butterflies. I volunteered to climb up the tree to pick the flowers for her. The tree was tall and the flowers were out of my reach, so I had to move on to a branch. Suddenly, the branch cracked up and I fell down to the ground! But I was lucky that I didn't get hurt. Actually I broke the whole branch off the tree! I gave it to her and we made pretty carts for her friends with many petals taken from the branch.
Haihao |
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Haihao
I'm a Communicator ;-)
Joined: 26 Oct 2006
Posts: 1297
Location: Japan
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| Mon Jul 02, 2007 16:03 pm Kindly check grammar and vocabulary for "SUMMER SEASON" |
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| woodbk13 wrote: | Summer season.
When I was a child, I liked summer season the most. It is the season that I didn’t need to go to school; I could go out with my friends all day.
The memory of those days is still as clear as though they happened yesterday. We went to the vegetable, bean, and peanut fields to help our friend’s family harvest. In the afternoon, we went to the dunes and found shells, then found an oasis to have the lunch that we had brought with us. We sang and played our traditional games until the sun went down/set. After any visit to my friend's home, I always came back with a bag full of longans and peaches!
Different from the autumn (which is also called 'fall'), the summer is the season of the flamboyant, which is a kind of tree that has bright red flowers. Whenever we see a red sky along with these flowers, we know the summer is beginning. I like this kind of flower and its color. I still remember one day when my sister wanted to make some man-made carts for her friends and she needed some flamboyant flowers to design as a butterfly. I volunteered to shinny up the tree to pluck flowers for her. The tree was tall and its flowers were out of my reach. I had to shinny up to a branch, and then the branch broke with me on it. I was lucky that I was not injured. I pulled the whole branch to her and we made very pretty carts with petals for her friends.
Summer is the season for examinations, for graduation, and also for parting. Many friends of mine feel sad when it comes, but as for me, I have never felt sadness. I have to try my best to focus on my studies. It is the happy time that finally I graduate to begin the next new period of my life. It is also the time that I realize how lucky I am to have such good friends. When we are apart, I know they are a part of my life. |
I've made some suggestions in the quote, woodbk13.
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Amy
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ESL teacher, translator, and a native speaker of American English |
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Yankee
I'm a Communicator ;-)
Joined: 16 Apr 2006
Posts: 7368
Location: Northeast US
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| Mon Jul 02, 2007 16:12 pm Kindly check grammar and vocabulary for "SUMMER SEASON" |
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| Haihao wrote: | | Suddenly, the branch cracked up and I fell down to the ground! |
Hi Haihao
You should eliminate both of the red prepositions.
The phrasal verb 'crack up' can be used to mean 'have an emotional break-down' or it can mean 'laugh very hard'. It can mean 'to crash or wreck a vehicle (a means of transportation)'.
The word 'down' is not necessary. You can say 'fall to the ground' or (perhaps more typical for this context) 'fall out of a tree'.
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Amy
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ESL teacher, translator, and a native speaker of American English |
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Yankee
I'm a Communicator ;-)
Joined: 16 Apr 2006
Posts: 7368
Location: Northeast US
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| Tue Jul 03, 2007 1:16 am Kindly check grammar and vocabulary for "SUMMER SEASON" |
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Thank you very much, Amy! It's nice to have your indications again. I am afraid I've got a bad habit of using superfluous prepositions these days.
Haihao |
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Haihao
I'm a Communicator ;-)
Joined: 26 Oct 2006
Posts: 1297
Location: Japan
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| Tue Jul 03, 2007 4:09 am Kindly check grammar and vocabulary for "SUMMER SEASON" |
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Thank you, Amy! I got a lot of mistakes in my writting. Will try to improve it!
Again, thanks so much! I will need your help for other topics. |
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woodbk13
New Member
Joined: 04 Jun 2007
Posts: 9
Location: VN
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| Expression: 'a lot of' (She has a lot of pressure to deal with) | 'plenty of' vs 'many' vs 'a lot of' |
