TOEFL® essay: Advertising influences people's behavior in a negative way

[Smit]

Hello Everybody ;

I have just started preparing for TOEFL and i have written my first essay in 30 minutes. Please Give me your suggestions reagarding any grammatical or structural mistakes. Alan please review my essay. Thanks a lot in advance for help.Also can you please tell me how much score this essay will get in TOEFL?

Write you agree or disagree the following statement. Advertising influences people’s behavior in a negative way.

Today’s world is growing at a very fast speed in all sectors whether it is computer science, biotechnology or aeronautical engineering. In this era the process of product development has become fast and effective. Because of this efficient development in production system everyday different kind of products are coming in to the market which are part of life of a general human being. The second phase after the development system is to generate interest in people to buy the product. For generating this attraction advertising is the best way which attraction in people for the product. The main mediums of advertising now a days are television, internet, banners, newspapers etc. But the major concern is whether these advertisements are really helpful for people or it makes people to go in a wrong way.

Advertising generally have a negative effect in people’s mind. As people just see the things presented to them they have never used the product on their own. Sometimes people are attracted to buy the product because the advertising is done so effectively that they are impressed by it. After buying the product and using it they finds that the thing they saw in the advertisement is not really the way it is.

Moreover people face the main problem for beauty products. Sometimes because of the ad seen on television people may be attracted towards a product that is not much important to their life of those may create negative impacts on the body.

Furthermore Medicine advertises shown in such a way that leads people to a thought that we don’t need a doctor for health problems. The advertises of medicine like aspirins are shown as a quick pain relief for headache. But it is dangerous to take it for a long period of time or to take in more quantity. The side effects of taking more does of aspirin are not shown to the people in advertisement which may really lead people to take aspirins whenever they face the headache.

Finally advertise of cigarettes shows a man smoking a cigarette as a confident and a successful person. This will create a wrong effect on teenagers and youth. Generally advertises are seen on television and in those advertisements the positive parts of product are shown but the negative impacts of those products on human body are not shown. Just like a hair color advertises they show the shiny hair when the hair colors of their company are used. Now after seeing the advertise on television the customer buys the product. But when the instructions are read on that it is found that it may also cause side effects on skin depending on the skin, which is not shown in the advertisement.

As a conclusion advertising directs people in a wrong way by directing them to buy wrong product so advertising has a negative effect on society.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a student and his counselor

[Tailab]

Good job Smit and so nice writing,

As for me, i think you missed a thesis at a very beginning

I am giving you 3.5 over 5. So, your a TOEFL score will be 19 over 30

[Tailab]

Hello everybody;

I will be very glad after getting your review my essay, and I will improve my writing’s skills by your suggestions. So, if you were an examiner, how a score you would give to me on this essay?

There are many qualities of a good neighbor: honesty, reliability, helpfulness and patience. It is very difficult to prefer one to another, since each on of them has its unique advantages. Yet that does not mean that all of them have the same weight in my mind. To be frank, I would prefer reliability and helpfulness.

Reliability is a trust on a person who lives next to me as a neighbor. So, if I can rely on my neighbor, I will associate with her or him without any problem. Since I will get a safe feeling with him or her. Thus, I can leave my stuff with him/her when I want to go out. In addition, I can lead my car for him or her, if he or she gave my promising that he or she will return it after three hours, as an example. Moreover, I can dare leave my children with him or her as saying that she will care them for me. In this case, let’s imagine that my neighbor is not reliable, I will ask him or her to look for my kids when I am buys, Of course not. since reliability is not only quality of a good neighbor, but quality of a good person also. These reasons allowed me vote to reliability.

Being helpful is another quality of a good neighbor which I will show here. A neighbor should be kind and helpful since I do not know when I need to get helpfulness from someone who lives next to me. For example, when I go on vocation, my neighbor can pick up my mail and use water for my plants. So, it is very good when I know that someone will help me as something happen whether I was existing or not.

All in all, despite the fact that there are another important qualities of a good neighbor such as honesty and patience, everybody has an own preferences. As for me, I choose reliability for lets me develop a good relationship and helpfulness since it keeps my relationship with my neighbor for a long time.