Toefl® essay: Some people prefer to spend time with one or two close friends...

[Casonlo]

Hi Alan, kindly correct my essay, thank a lot!

My essay:

Friends play a crucial role in our lives because we benefit a lot from them. For example, it is graceful when we get the help from our friends. Moreover, it is meaningful to spend time with our friends because they may be those who really understand my thoughts. Some people prefer to spend time with one or two close friends; while others choose to spend time with a large number of friends. In my opinion, these two approaches have their respective advantages.

The fact that people prefer to spend time with one or two close friends does not reflect that they do not have a large number of friends. It merely implies that they rely on their close friends in the significant aspects, such as the private secret and intellectual discussion. The reason is that they believe that the close friends are like their family members; therefore it is reliable to express the views to the close friends in such matters.

On the other hand, spending time with a large number of friends would have multitude merits, especially the entertainment activities. First of all, it is favorable to go shopping or to hang out to bar with a group of friends. Moreover, it is beneficial to share and exchange our opinions on various matters, such as books, films or even a cuisine. In addition, it may arise problem when one or two close friends are not available for the leisure activities, as a result, staying at home may probably the only means to spend the time.

It is indisputable that friends can spark our lives; I personally believe that these two approaches have their respective advantages. For the entertainment activities, it is joyful and interesting to hang out with a large number of friends. I, however, would prefer to share my secret with my close friends.

TOEFL listening discussions: What problem does the student have?

[Alan]

Hi,

Author Message
casonlo Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 3:45 am Post subject: Toefl essay: Some people prefer to spend time with one or two close friends...

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My essay:

Friends play a crucial role in our lives because we benefit a lot from them. For example, it is CHARMING when we get the help from our friends. Moreover, it is meaningful to spend time with our friends because they may be those who really understand OUR thoughts. Some people prefer to spend time with one or two close friends; while others choose to spend time with a large number of friends. In my opinion, these two approaches have their respective advantages.

The fact that people prefer to spend time with one or two close friends does not MEAN that they do not have a large number of friends. It merely implies that they rely on their close friends significant WAYS, such as the private secret and intellectual discussion. The reason is that they believe that the close friends are like their family members; therefore it is ACCEPTABLE to express YOUR views to close friends in such matters.

On the other hand, spending time with a large number of friends would have multitude merits, especially the entertainment activities. First of all, it is favorable to go shopping or to hang out IN A bar with a group of friends. Moreover, it is beneficial to share and exchange our opinions on various matters, such as books, films or even cuisine. In addition, problem MAY ARISE when one or two close friends are not available for the leisure activities, as a result, staying at home may probably BE the only WAY to spend the time.

It is indisputable that friends can LIGHT UP our lives; I personally believe that these two approaches have their respective advantages. For entertainment activities, it is joyful and interesting to hang out with a large number of friends. I, however, would prefer to share my secret with my close friends.

Alan
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English as a Second Language
You can read my ESL story Present Simple

[Casonlo]

:D Thank you for your comment!