Toefl essay: Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms...

[casonlo]

Hi Alan, please give some comments to my essay. Many thanks!

My essay,

Toefl essay: Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms. Other high schools permit students to decide what to wear to school. Which of these two school policies do you think is better?

There is a variety of policies regarding school uniforms. Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms; while others allow students to decide what to wear to school. Some people claim that the high school students should obey the rules; on the contrary, others argue that teenagers also have their right of option for clothing. Let us seek a suitable answer for this debate.

Students who are not required to wear school uniforms would indicate that they are totally to wear whatever they like to school. Besides, even their parents are not able to have any control on their clothing, and therefore it may seem unreasonable to require students to wear school uniforms. As a result, certain high schools permit students to decide what to wear school because they admit that students have their rights to choose their outfits and it is not justified to violate it.

On the other hand, high schools requiring all students to wear school uniforms hold a position that the uniform can bring a sense of belonging, discipline and respect. In addition, it implies the idea of fairness because whether the students is rich or poor, the value of school uniform is still equal, that is to say, all students can get the fair treatment. Furthermore, by wearing uniforms, it is not necessary for students to buy the new clothing and match their outfits to school, so that students can focus on their studies.

There may not be a problem when students have the option of clothing to school; nonetheless the students sometimes may wear the clothing which is not appropriate to their identities. From my perspective, I believe that requiring students to students to wear school uniforms can bring them the positive attitude, such as a sense of belonging and concentration on studies. Therefore, I suggest that the students should wear school uniforms to school.

[Alan]

Hi,

There is a variety of policies regarding school uniforms. Some high schools require all students to wear school uniforms; while others allow students to decide what to wear to school. Some people claim that the high school students should obey the rules; on the contrary, others argue that teenagers also have their right of option for clothing/THEIR RIGHT TO CHOOSE THE KIND OF CLOTHES THEY WEAR. Let us seek a suitable answer for this debate.

Students who are not required to wear school uniforms would indicate that they are totally FREE to wear whatever they like to school. Besides, even their parents are not able to have any control on their clothing, and therefore it may seem unreasonable to require students to wear school uniforms. As a result, certain high schools permit students to decide what to wear AT school because they admit that students have thE RIGHT to choose their outfits and it is not justified to violate it.

On the other hand, high schools requiring all students to wear school uniforms hold TO THE BELIEF that the uniform can bring a sense of belonging, discipline and respect. In addition, it implies the idea of fairness because whether the students ARE rich or poor, the value of school uniform is still THE SAME, that is to say, all students can get fair treatment. Furthermore, by wearing uniforms, it is not necessary for students to buy new clothing and match their outfits to school, so that students can focus on their studies.

There may not be a problem when students have the option TO CHOOSE THE CLOTHES THEY WEAR AT school; nonetheless the students sometimes may wear the CLOTHES which ARE not appropriate FOR THEM. From my perspective, I believe that requiring students to wear school uniforms can GIVE them A positive attitude, such as a sense of belonging and concentration on studies. Therefore, I suggest that the students should wear school uniforms to school.

Alan
_________________
English as a Second Language
You can read my ESL story Reflections

[casonlo]

Alan,

It is nice to have your precious comment. Should you be free, can you advise me how to enhance my writting skill?

Carey

[Alan]

Hi Carey,

What you have written seems of a good quality. All you can really do is to read as much as possible - books, newspapers and magazines and get the feel or the shape of different structures in the language. One point that needs attention is the use of the articles 'a' and 'the'. You might find it useful to read some material I've done for the site.
Alan
_________________
English as a Foreign Language
You can read my EFL story A day in the life of a flat hunter