please review my essay for the GRE..1st attempt

[Poojavet]

"Choice is an illusion. In reality, our lives are controlled by the society in which we live."

This topic ‘’ Choice is an illusion. In reality, our lives are controlled by the society in which we live."
can have two different perceptions,it depends from one individual to another.i would like to discuss both these perspectives in the following passages.

To begin with ,I would like to discuss the past where I agree with the statement that choices that we make in our lives are dependent on the society.i would like to present an example to prove this point.In most of the rural places in India,a girl is generally not allowed or rather discouraged to study,play n most importantly to talk or associate themselves with the boys of the neighbourhood.Even if she would like to be friends with the people of the opposite gender,its looked upon as a sign of a bad upbringing or even a bad character trait.so even though she would have chosen otherwise ,she refrains herself as the society looks down on that.

Another case that can be stated here is the fact that the girls are not allowed to study and are taught from the the time that they are kids that the only work that they need to learn is that of the household.even though the parents of a girl would like to educate her,
but then they don’t do so often as they fear that the society would mock them of spoiling the girl and polluting the girl’s mind by not training her since the beginning to do all the household chores

But as I have stated earlier that it all depends on the mind set of the individual,if the father from the above example believes that his daughters education is of paramount importance,as its important for her to be independent,he might still educate her.

These days the society in india has changed so much that at present there is lady president.if it had not been for her parents decision to chose to educate her then,this historical feat would not have been possible

Society is formed by its people,most people don’t think for them selves,they don’t question n merely ape what other people have to say.people change opinions
over time,hence the mindset of the society changes too.what was considered a taboo years ago might be accepted as a part and parcel of our lives today.another point that I would like to make here is that society will only make fun if you do anything wrong.it will never praise you for the good deads(there may be very rare exceptions though)but will definitely never help you in the time of need.

So its important as an individual to make ones own choices as we all have an inner conscience that helps us differentite between the right and the wrong.it’s the best to follow it in time of doubt than to listen to the views that have been followed by the society.because we get to live owr lives only once and its best to take it in our hands,make our own choices and lead our lives the way that we want to.