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 #2 (permalink) Wed Aug 15, 2007 15:42 pm How did you learn to deal with people? |
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My school has that kind of course to teach students how to control your temper, how to face the death, how to 'accept' persons you don't like. But as everyone knows, it's considered the course which is not that crucial. Still, I can learn something if I really want to absorb something in it. What the teahcer affects me most is to make me go vegetarian and keep a lohas life when I'm so young. She told me how to find the balance between searching for knowledge and seeking the rest of spirit, making happy when studying and dealing with the guys I don't like. I find I become mature.  |
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Edison_Chen_e_c
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| #3 (permalink) Wed Aug 15, 2007 17:11 pm How did you learn to deal with people? |
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Hi Edision Chen,
Thanks a lot for your response. Could you please tell me more about the course that teaches you how to control your temper? What exactly did you learn and did you acquire skills or just knowledge? Also, which courses do you think are crucial?
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Torsten
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| #4 (permalink) Wed Aug 15, 2007 19:15 pm How did you learn to deal with people? |
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To trust or not to trust, that is a problem.
^^ I am easily to trust a people who hadn't being acquianted to me. I like to trust everyone at the first,and I like resume them are good enough. I don't like suspect them if I don't have any evidence to prove it. But it has a big risk that the people usually exploit this point I having. So I had being betried for those similar affairs from my friends. |
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Princess
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| #5 (permalink) Wed Aug 15, 2007 22:32 pm How did you learn to deal with people? |
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| Torsten wrote: |
| What about "interpersonal communication"? |
At university. Dealing with all kinds of people for almost 4 years probably equipped me with social skills more than anything else. In contrast to your work related environment, you are mostly concerend with your social network at this stage of your life. Flat mates, other students and chance encounters/meetings with people who are dancing in your shoes predefine your future social behaviour.
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| #6 (permalink) Thu Aug 16, 2007 6:08 am How did you learn to deal with people? |
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Atucally the teacher goes for lohas life, so she always try to convince her students not to addict in games, money, something like that.
At first she wanted us to sit still with a peaceful mind, I thought it stupid at the beginning, yet I found it worked if you did sit still with a peaceful mind, you could really find the peace you want in your mind. Then every time when we took her class, she would tell some her stories about why she went for lohas, and how. She's different from other teachers, what she wants is not your 'grades', she wants to lead her students to a good path. It was new to me, so I accpeted her little by little. Now three year passed, I've grauated from the school, what she told me I never forget.
I don't have meat that often. But she told me again, if mom wants me to eat, then I should have it with a joyful mind to make my mom happy. I don't play computer games anymore now, I find it boring and finally you get nothing from it. What I can't reach is not to think about sex. (shy) She has told her student what is the real love: not the love between girls and boys, but try to love everyone even foes. But I think I'm now in adolescence I can't help but think about sex. (Ohh, it's so embarrasing)
I thought the crucial one is about your mind and spirit, that can bring you happiness. Of course I still will have to study hard for tests, but I deeply know that only brings me money in the future. And money is not happiness.
Knowledge is important, that brings you money and power, of course it does affect, but above all, you have to know the final goal you set for yourself, to know why you earn money, why you hit your foes, anyway you've got to know what you really want. I don't know what I really want yet but I'm keeping on it, I have my whole life to seek.
By the way, how to make myself not to mention something about...about sex? |
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Edison_Chen_e_c
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| #7 (permalink) Thu Aug 16, 2007 7:06 am How did you learn to deal with people? |
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| Quote: |
| Did you have a subject like that at school? Or did you just pick up some behavioral patterns from your patterns when you were a kid? Of course we learn from dealing with people on a daily basis but is a conscious effort or do we simple "adjust" to each situation as it occurs? |
How useful your questions are,Torsen!
I have learned interpersonal skills in class and also by reading books about it, and practicing it with observation I do as often as possible.. My understanding about it has been broadened by reading and of course my surroundings. At times, one mistake leads to another so it's best for me to learn from the mistakes and observation. There's one thing I'm thinking about. If I can understand "intrapersonal communication" very well, I myself won't find it hard to make good interpersonal communication.  In other words, if I can communicate with myself well like being able to control and understand my feelings/emotions, I will perhaps learn well how to communicate with others. We are different but not really different in many ways.
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Nicholas
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| #8 (permalink) Thu Aug 16, 2007 7:24 am How did you learn to deal with people? |
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Hi edison_chen_e_c,
I have read your post and admire how well your teacher taught you and your friends and what a good person she was herself.
| Quote: |
| By the way, how to make myself not to mention something about...about sex? |
And for one thing, I am in my last teen and I feel you are brave to talk about it here. I fervently hope it shouldn't be ignored by the other mature people.
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Nicholas
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| #9 (permalink) Thu Aug 16, 2007 15:28 pm How did you learn to deal with people? |
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| edison_chen_e_c wrote: |
| I don't have meat that often. But she told me again, if mom wants me to eat, then I should have it with a joyful mind to make my mom happy. |
Hi Edison,
Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts and experiences with us. You mentioned that you don't eat meat that often. Could you please tell us more about your eating habits? And why does your mom want you to eat meat?
| edison_chen_e_c wrote: |
| I don't play computer games anymore now, I find it boring and finally you get nothing from it. |
It probably depends on what kind of computer games you play. For example, you play chess on your computer you can benefit from it quite a lot. The same might hold true for any educational games.
| edison_chen_e_c wrote: |
| What I can't reach is not to think about sex. (shy) She has told her student what is the real love: not the love between girls and boys, but try to love everyone even foes. But I think I'm now in adolescence I can't help but think about sex. (Ohh, it's so embarrasing) |
Why should you not think about sex especially when you are an adolescent? Who told you not and why? If everyone stopped thinking about sex, our economies would collapse and as a result our social security system would fall apart. Thinking about and engaging in sex is much better than thinking about and waging war and terrorism. Why are you embarrased when you are thining about sex? I guess it's because of the way you were educated and brought up. Can you imagine that there societies in which people are embarrased when they forget to think about sex? If you don't harm another person you shouldn't be embarrased by any of your thoughts. Accept them as a part of you and ask yourself why you have those thoughts.
| edison_chen_e_c wrote: |
| I thought the crucial one is about your mind and spirit, that can bring you happiness. Of course I still will have to study hard for tests, but I deeply know that only brings me money in the future. And money is not happiness. |
You are right, happiness is not the result of money. It's probably the other way round. If you can think happy thoughts, you can make other people happy too. They will pay you for making them happy. Of course the business world is much more complex than that, but if you follow this basic principle you will always have plenty of money.
| edison_chen_e_c wrote: |
| Knowledge is important, that brings you money and power, of course it does affect, but above all, you have to know the final goal you set for yourself, to know why you earn money, why you hit your foes, anyway you've got to know what you really want. I don't know what I really want yet but I'm keeping on it, I have my whole life to seek. |
Knowledge is important but even more important is how you use your knowledge. You can study for years and obtain several university degrees. If you don't know how to share all your knowledge with others, it's not worth much. You will earn a lot of money if you help a lot of people find solutions to their problems. To do that you often don't need much theoretical knowledge because many people want just a little appreciation.
Also, "hitting your foes" might not be the best way of dealing with them. Try to turn your enemies into your friends or least, try to understand why they are "your foes". They often simply don't understand your intentions and see you as a threat.
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Torsten
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| #10 (permalink) Thu Aug 16, 2007 15:31 pm How did you learn to deal with people? |
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| Nicholas wrote: |
| I have learned interpersonal skills in class and also by reading books about it, and practicing it with observation I do as often as possible.. My understanding about it has been broadened by reading and of course my surroundings. At times, one mistake leads to another so it's best for me to learn from the mistakes and observation. There's one thing I'm thinking about. If I can understand "intrapersonal communication" very well, I myself won't find it hard to make good interpersonal communication. In other words, if I can communicate with myself well like being able to control and understand my feelings/emotions, I will perhaps learn well how to communicate with others. We are different but not really different in many ways. |
Hi Nicholas,
I agree with everything you said in this post. Could you please tell what books on dealing with people you read? Also, what class did you attend to improve your interpersonal skills?
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| #11 (permalink) Fri Aug 17, 2007 6:31 am How did you learn to deal with people? |
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| Torsten wrote: |
Hi Edison,
Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts and experiences with us. You mentioned that you don't eat meat that often. Could you please tell us more about your eating habits? And why does your mom want you to eat meat? |
The thoughs I have are almost from the book "Mutant Message Under Down by Marlo Morgan"
She asks all her students to read it, and it is really a great book worth reading.
I've had organic foods since about one and half year ago, we believe that all the diseases come from your bad eating habbits. And why go vegetarian, let's think it this way: If you drive a car and run into a dog or even a little rabbit, you must feel something bad in your heart that you kill a animal. But think about the situation when you are in a restaurant with your boss or girlfriends, you pick up the meat, smell it, look at it, take it into your month with a fork with your satisfied smile, and say: 'Ohh, It's so tasty.' You forget it's also a life. The life hit by the car is a life, but the life eaten by people is not a life? Furthermore, if you have seen how these animals been ill-treated in the slaughter house, you never want to eat them again.
As to why mom wants me to eat meat, it's just like each mother in the world, they always want their children to have MILK, MEAT and VEGETABLE to have enough protein and others when we're growing. I think she's afraid of my being all of the malnutrition.
What you guess may be the reason I think. It might cause of the way I were educated in the Eastern, actually, at least people in the Eastern is not so unbridled as in the Western countries. I just think it odd that I pretend there's nothing at all after doing that (you know doing what). The feeling (not the pleasure, but that guiltiness) is behind description.
I have no foes, I like everybody around me, they're friendly and nice to me. |
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Edison_Chen_e_c
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| #12 (permalink) Fri Aug 17, 2007 6:38 am How did you learn to deal with people? |
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| Nicholas wrote: |
Hi edison_chen_e_c,
I have read your post and admire how well your teacher taught you and your friends and what a good person she was herself.
| Quote: |
| By the way, how to make myself not to mention something about...about sex? |
And for one thing, I am in my last teen and I feel you are brave to talk about it here. I fervently hope it shouldn't be ignored by the other mature people. |
Don't joke me. You're not American, are you? |
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Edison_Chen_e_c
I'm here quite often ;-)
Joined: 23 Jul 2007
Posts: 206
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| #13 (permalink) Fri Aug 17, 2007 7:55 am How did you learn to deal with people? |
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| Torsten wrote: |
| Nicholas wrote: |
| I have learned interpersonal skills in class and also by reading books about it, and practicing it with observation I do as often as possible.. My understanding about it has been broadened by reading and of course my surroundings. At times, one mistake leads to another so it's best for me to learn from the mistakes and observation. There's one thing I'm thinking about. If I can understand "intrapersonal communication" very well, I myself won't find it hard to make good interpersonal communication. In other words, if I can communicate with myself well like being able to control and understand my feelings/emotions, I will perhaps learn well how to communicate with others. We are different but not really different in many ways. |
Hi Nicholas,
I agree with everything you said in this post. Could you please tell what books on dealing with people you read? Also, what class did you attend to improve your interpersonal skills? |
Hello Torsten,
I have read a lot of books on dealing with people; of course a lot of them are in my native language. I can learn better in my mother tongue. Two of the books in my language that I can translate into the English language are called ['I' means 'You & I'] and [Observing People by their gestures].Hmm...a lot more, Torsten.  Moreover, I attended two classs, one of which was an English class where my teacher, besides the usual English lessons, also provided some lessons about how to deal with ourselves and other people while the other was a communication skill class.
With these two ways, I have considered the former the best way so far. But there's nothing wrong to give credit to the class my teachers tried to teach. OH, I'd like to recommend a book called "How to live without fear and worry" which has calmed my nerves and without any doubt has helped my outlook on the world.
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Nicholas
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| #14 (permalink) Fri Aug 17, 2007 8:24 am How did you learn to deal with people? |
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| Quote: |
| Don't joke me. You're not American, are you? |
Please let me apologize. Nope, I'm not an American. 
Well, now I think I want to say something. Edison (let me call you this way), you are not alone in feeling bothered about it in your adolescence. There's one thing, you are following the step of my adolescence .
| Quote: |
| Why should you not think about sex especially when you are an adolescent? Who told you not and why? If everyone stopped thinking about sex, our economies would collapse and as a result our social security system would fall apart. Thinking about and engaging in sex is much better than thinking about and waging war and terrorism. Why are you embarrased when you are thining about sex? I guess it's because of the way you were educated and brought up. Can you imagine that there societies in which people are embarrased when they forget to think about sex? If you don't harm another person you shouldn't be embarrased by any of your thoughts. Accept them as a part of you and ask yourself why you have those thoughts. |
Hmmm...I agree with Torsten's ideas. Edison, I guess we were brought up by people who have the same thoughts and similar cultures. If you turn to your sisters or brothers for help about it, they will say to you "Shhh!!" and ask you to drop that question immediately. And that can make a person turn to pornography as a repercussion of not knowing what you should know. Don't be embarrassed about it. I don't encourage you to engage in sex very early in your life, Edison, if you think it's not right. But I encourage you to discover yourself because like what Torsten said "it's part of you". I have a small answer about "why you and I and other people have those thoughts". We are human beings and we breed to make babies. If you feel doubtful about this, let's look at both women and men. Why do we have a body like this or like that? There's one thing; we are made to make babies. However, as you perhaps have known some part of the early history, men went out to hunt for food while women stayed at home to make babies. So, don't feel guilty about your sexuality because you are in the same shoes. In this century, in this age of information with rules of law to control, we have rights to demand to know what's about 'us' and don't do things that harm other people. Then let's not be embarrassed about it if you don't harm others with your thought. And let's get to know yourself even more.
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Nicholas
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| #15 (permalink) Sat Aug 18, 2007 7:04 am How did you learn to deal with people? |
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Nicholas, I'm brave to talk about it here, you are!
Of course I won't rape anyone, why you guys keep on telling me "not to harm others with my thought", am I that sick in your eyes that I would rape others if I'm in need?
OK, I feel better after listening to what you told me, I can go watch porn film now hahaha.  |
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