IELTS essay sample: Today the advance science...

[Sahereh]

Hi teachers,

I appreciate if you correct my essay and help me to improve my writting skill for IELTS exam.

Title: Today, the advanced science and technology have made great changes to people ‘s life, but artists such as musicians, painters and writers are still highly valued. What can arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot?

In the 20th century with development of electrical industry, the life style has changed and the life has become easier with modern utilities and human being owe this modern life to advanced science and technology. But as being of a mankind, all of us have some other requirements that relate to our spirit and feeling which can be appeased by arts like music and painting. This is why artists are highly valued yet and why we need art.

In my opinion, all people need to know about other people attitudes to improve their life and do not repeat other people mistakes or remember their victory to motivate themselves. One of the ways for becoming aware of one ‘s attitude is the language of art for example when you read a book, you can become familiar with different points of view of author. But when you use a microwave, however it helps you easy and fast cooking, you never understand for what reasons it is invented and what was the motivation of the inventor.

Another important thing that art present to people is calm and peace. Nobody can deny that listening to a light music after a long day work can help us to refresh and recover ourselves to get new energy. However today there are lots of modernized and computerized entertainments like computer games and chat room for hanging out lots of time but hey cannot take the place of art and just they make us distant from healthy mind. Good or bad, it is the result of today life that all of us are in rush from morning and we do not have any time to think about our behavior even one minute a day. We can rectify by learning an art as an entertainment instead of playing computer games and wasting time.

The language of art is different from language of technology and their positions in our life are not the same. Technology makes our life easier and faster but never can improve our morals directly and that is art which can fill our feeling gaps by treasures and make our life happier.