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TOEFL® essays: As computers are being used more and more in education...



 
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TOEFL essays: As computers are being used more and more in education... #1 (permalink) Sun Sep 02, 2007 22:57 pm   TOEFL essays: As computers are being used more and more in education...
 

Greetings,

I just wrote two essays. It would be nice if you could point any errors (i am not a native English speaker, so if you find meaningless or incorrect use of some words, please) and rate the Band achieved. Thank you.

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom.

After the advent of microprocessor, a class of inexpensive general purpose computer called PCs exploded into the market. Since then computers have almost replaced human beings in every industry whether it be weather forecasting, commerce, medical research and diagnosis etc. Similarly computers are playing an important role in modern education system. This has also led to completely new brand of education known as virtual learning.

Computer based courses are being used increasingly to impart education to students. This has obviously decreased the level of dependency of education on teachers alone. However I personally believe teachers will always have a very important role to play in the classroom. First and foremost is the fact teachers being human beings can teach their students in a much more interactive manner. Teachers are the only ones which can develop the emotional parts of their students. No computer s/w or program can imitate human emotions. The teachers’ characters also sometimes become a role model for their students which can be a strong motivating force. Unfortunately computer software do not offer any such alternative.

Distance learning and virtual learning wouldn’t have been possible w/o computers and hi-speed internet. These allow people who are thousands of miles away from a university/college or those who do not have time to attend a conventional college/university to get modern education. Computers are and will continue to play a major role in education; however I believe human beings always need human beings. This need will always ensure that there are good skilled and qualified teachers available for students in a classroom.

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.

All major sports of the World including Football, Cricket, Hockey have major events every four years and usu. the event is named as the World Cup of that sports. The time interval between the successive major events may vary from sport to sport. In the same way some sports like tennis don’t have a World Cup but their major tournament called Wimbledon is usu. considered Tennis World Cup. This is also the case with some other Sports as well.

Majority of the sports are universal in the sense that they don’t belong to a single culture, religion and race. In fact it’s the love and passion for the sport that drives the people towards a unified culture. Football is played in almost in all the continents of this World. A sense of unification can be seen during Football World Cup events. People from both countries usu. turn up in stadium in large numbers and support their own team. However at the end of the match, there can be hard feelings as well feeling of admiration and appreciation of the opponent’s game. This however depends on how the match was played. If the match is played in a healthy competitive manner with a display of sportsman spirit from both sides, they usu. have very good impacts. A cricket series between Pakistan and India in 2003 played a very important role in diffusing tensions between the nuclear power states. The relationship between the neighbors was going through a rough patch prior to that sporting event. However the excellent spirit in which the entire series was played by both teams and the warm reception that Indian team got in Pakistan changed a lot of things. It seemed to ease the tension in the region and develop good feelings among the people of the two nations.

However this is not always the case. The final of the football World Cup in 2006 resulted in some heated statements from the ministers of both countries Italy and France. The success of these sporting events to promote love and peace between the countries and easing any international tensions present depend a lot on the players of the teams. If the players on the ground realize their responsibility not only as sportsmen but as the ambassadors of their country, the outcomes of the match can work wonders in spreading the message of peace, love and humanity throughout the World.

Many thanks,
Nab

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture in social science class
Nab
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Joined: 02 Sep 2007
Posts: 2

TOEFL essays: As computers are being used more and more in education... #2 (permalink) Mon Sep 03, 2007 10:47 am   TOEFL essays: As computers are being used more and more in education...
 

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom.

After the advent of THE microprocessor, a class of inexpensive general purpose computer called PCs exploded into the market. Since then computers have almost replaced human beings in every industry whether it be weather forecasting, commerce, medical research and diagnosis etc. Similarly computers are playing an important role in modern education systemS. This has also led to A completely new brand of education known as virtual learning.

Computer based courses are being used increasingly to impart education to students. This has obviously decreased the level of dependency of education on teachers alone. However I personally believe teachers will always have a very important role to play in the classroom. First and foremost is the fact teachers being human beings can teach their students in a much more interactive manner. Teachers are the only ones which can develop the emotional parts of their students. No computer s/w ?? or program can imitate human emotions. The teachers’ characters also sometimes become a role model for their students, which can be a strong motivating force. Unfortunately computer software do not offer any such alternative.

Distance learning and virtual learning wouldn’t have been possible WITHOUT computers and hi-speed internet. These allow people who are thousands of miles away from a university/college or those who do not have time to attend a conventional college/university to get modern education. Computers are and will continue to play a major role in education; however I believe human beings always need human beings. This need will always ensure that there are good skilled and qualified teachers available for students in a classroom.

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way.

All major sports of the World including Football, Cricket, Hockey have major events every four years and usu???. the event is named as the World Cup of that sports. The time interval between the successive major events may vary from sport to sport. In the same way some sports like tennis don’t have a World Cup but their major tournament called Wimbledon is usu. considered Tennis World Cup. This is also the case with some other Sports as well.

THE Majority of the sports are universal in the sense that they don’t belong to a single culture, religion and race. In fact it’s the love and passion for the sport that drives the people towards a unified culture. Football is played in almost all the continents of this World. A sense of unification can be seen during Football World Cup events. People from both countries usu??? turn up in stadium in large numbers and support their own team. However at the end of the match, there can be hard feelings as well feeling of admiration and appreciation of the opponent’s game. This however depends on how the match was played. If the match is played in a healthy competitive manner with a display of sportsman spirit from both sides, they usu???. have very good impacts. A cricket series between Pakistan and India in 2003 played a very important role in diffusing tensions between the nuclear power states. The relationship between the neighbors was going through a rough patch prior to that sporting event. However the excellent spirit in which the entire series was played by both teams and the warm reception that Indian team got in Pakistan changed a lot of things. It seemed to ease the tension in the region and develop good feelings among the people of the two nations.

However this is not always the case. The final of the football World Cup in 2006 resulted in some heated statements from the ministers of both countries Italy and France. The success of these sporting events to promote love and peace between the countries and easing any international tensions present depend a lot on the players of the teams. If the players on the ground realize their responsibility not only as sportsmen but as the ambassadors of their country, the outcomes of the match can work wonders in spreading the message of peace, love and humanity throughout the World.

I don't recommend the use of abbreviations.

Alan
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TOEFL essays: As computers are being used more and more in education... #3 (permalink) Mon Sep 03, 2007 10:56 am   TOEFL essays: As computers are being used more and more in education...
 

Thanks a lot, Mr Alan.

Yeah, i have a pretty bad habit of using these abbreviation. I will refrain from using them. Sir, what band do you think i can get on these essays? Thank you
Nab
New Member


Joined: 02 Sep 2007
Posts: 2

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