TOEFL® essay: In many societies, elderly people live with their children and...

[Vuralorion]

Hi again, this is the first essay of mine that excesses the 300 words but it took longer time than 30 minutes to plan and write. Can you please evaluate it? And does anyone have some useful advice in planning and writing essay of 300 words or above in 30 minutes? Thanks a lot

Quesiton: In many societies, elderly people live with their children and grandchildren when they can no longer live by themselves. In other societies, the elderly live in special residences where they are looked after by professional caregivers. Which system do you think is better? Use specific examples and reasons in your response.

Everyday, it is possible to watch news reporting negative habits and behaviours of staff in a mental and physical caregiving instutition against the ill and olderly people, even children who were left there by their very close relatives. This makes clear that elderly or any other people who needs care, do not receive a healthy and mercyful service in such instutitions.

The most important disadvantage in keeping your grandparents in such caregiving or aid houses is that the staff working there takes care of your mother or father in return of money. They consider your grandparents as clients and they just think of their salary. Your relatives get any kind of services as much as the amount you pay for the caregivers. When they were paid insufficient and they were not supervised regularly by their upper level managers, they will lack of the necessary desire and motivation to look after your elderly relatives in an adequate way.

On the other hand, allowing your parents or grandparents to live with you when they are not capable to go longer themselves, has definite advantages. First, it gives both you and your parent/grandparent mental peace and health by giving you the chance to payback them the care and concern that you received from them throughout your life. Also the emotional relationship between you and them cause you to show respect and mercy for them and it would make them feel better. Alongside all these, it may also allow you to save some money by looking after your parents/grandparent by yourself rather than taking them to a caregiving house or instutition.

In conslusion, the way to meet both mental and pyhsical needs and requests of your elderly relatives in your house or by yourself is more adequate than delivering them the mercy of people who you and they do not know.

[Englishuser]

Hi vuralorion,

This essay looks great! Congratulations! The essay fully satisfies the requirements of the task in a very coherent manner. There are some vocabulary mistakes and some occasional lapses in control of grammar, but these do not reduce clarity.

All the best

EU

[Neville]

Similarly there are respite homes for Elder people with a disability. Respite care homes aid and train disabled people in building skills needed for independent living. Disabled people are more comfortable in respite homes or in specially formed communities for the disabled. They respond better and are happier in an atmosphere where they find alike people. Such people are better off in respite homes rather than a home of their own.

Eldery care