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TOEFLŪ essay: A new acquaintance of yours is thinking about studying your...



 
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TOEFL essay: A new acquaintance of yours is thinking about studying your... #1 (permalink) Tue Sep 18, 2007 12:40 pm   TOEFL essay: A new acquaintance of yours is thinking about studying your...
 

Hi. My essay again :). Could you please criticize it? Thanks a lot

Question:A new acquaintance of yours is thinking about studying your native language. How would you convince him or her that this would be a good decision? Use specific reasons and details in your response.

Nowadays, to have the ability to communicate in as much as languages and cultures has enormous advantages with both social and business aspects. Like any other language, to speak and understand Turkish bring many strenghts together.

Primarily, to become able to speak and understand my language offers the privileges of being the member of a languages family which dates back to 3000 B.C. Ancient tablets and stones found in Middle Asia depicts that Turkish has been using permenantly for almost 5000 years with a regular grammar and vocabulary.

Second, as someone got the ability to talk and understand my native language, Turkish, he would benefit the opportunity to communicate with a community of about 250 million population spread over from the Mongolia and China at east to Latvia and Sweeden at west. Turkish occupies the fifth position at the ranking of mostly spoken languages in the world. Therefore, it gives an advantage in both social and business life to talk and comprehend in Turkish.

Morever, there is plenty amount of Turkish population dispersed througthout the world. When you travel to U.S.A., England, Germany, Sweden, China even to Australia, you can meet many Turks over there and it really makes people feel good when they have someone around to communicate coherently when they are in foreing countries. Besides, it may strenghten the friendship between my acquaintance and myself, when we can communicate in a common language each other.

In conclusion, it has many advantages to have the ability to talk in Turkish and comprehend Turkish speeches in many means such, through its great history, chance to communicate about 250 million people all around the world and acquiring personally long lasting relationships and friendships.

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Vuralorion
You can meet me at english-test.net


Joined: 14 Mar 2007
Posts: 62

TOEFL essay: A new acquaintance of yours is thinking about studying your... #2 (permalink) Wed Sep 19, 2007 8:50 am   TOEFL essay: A new acquaintance of yours is thinking about studying your...
 

Hi vuralorion,

I think your essay is quite good; you could well get the mark you need. Your text addresses all parts of the task, and you use specific details and reasons in your response precisely like you are instructed to do. Your text links well together and is generally cohesive. Your vocabulary range is adequate for the task, but there are some vocabulary mistakes, particularly when you use less common words. When you do the real test you might wish to keep in mind that it's normally better to use less complex words accurately than to use more sophisticated vocabulary inappropriately.

All the best

EU
Englishuser
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Joined: 06 Jun 2006
Posts: 806

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TOEFL essay: A new acquaintance of yours is thinking about studying your... #3 (permalink) Wed Sep 19, 2007 9:08 am   TOEFL essay: A new acquaintance of yours is thinking about studying your...
 

Englishuser, I am aware of the vocabulary mistakes. It is becasue I write very fast and no time remaining for revising. Thanks for comments :)
Vuralorion
You can meet me at english-test.net


Joined: 14 Mar 2007
Posts: 62

TOEFL essay: A new acquaintance of yours is thinking about studying your... #4 (permalink) Wed Sep 19, 2007 9:30 am   TOEFL essay: A new acquaintance of yours is thinking about studying your...
 

Hi vuralorion,

I am only too pleased to be of any service I can to you. There won't be that much time left for editing in the real test, either, and besides that you will be writing under pressure. Writing very simple sentences without mistakes will reduce your 'Lexical Resource' mark or equivalent, so the best thing to do would probably be to just immerse yourself in English. It is perfectly all right to use appropriate expressions that you pick up. Have you done any of the tests available on the site?

All the best

EU
Englishuser
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 06 Jun 2006
Posts: 806

TOEFL essay: A new acquaintance of yours is thinking about studying your... #5 (permalink) Wed Sep 19, 2007 18:12 pm   TOEFL essay: A new acquaintance of yours is thinking about studying your...
 

Hi again. Also sometimes you may use complex words and sentences because of paraphrasing and to avoid repetitions. This is another reason causing vocabulary mistakes for me. Which section can I find the TOEFL IBT tests on the site? I made a search on the site just a few months ago but I could not find any. Thanks for your concern. I will post essays again on site soon can you please make suggestion and comments on them?
Vuralorion
You can meet me at english-test.net


Joined: 14 Mar 2007
Posts: 62

TOEFL essay: A new acquaintance of yours is thinking about studying your... #6 (permalink) Wed Sep 19, 2007 20:26 pm   TOEFL essay: A new acquaintance of yours is thinking about studying your...
 

Hi vuralorion,

Yes, avoiding unnecessary repetition of words and ideas alike is important.

There are no tests targeting the IBT version of the TOEFL test in particular available on the site. The good news is that all versions of the TOEFL test are designed to test your academic English skills which means you will benefit from materials designed for any version of the test. The TOEFL tests that you find here are designed to help you build your vocabulary.

Please feel free to post as many essays as you like. I look forward to reading them.

All the best

EU
Englishuser
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 06 Jun 2006
Posts: 806

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