TOEFL essay: Some people believe the computer revolution has been only...

[Yifat]

hi, i'm new here...have my test this friday - oct' 12...and very nervous about my writing skills.... anyone who can help me?

Some people believe the computer revolution has been only beneficial to society. Others say there are also some drawbacks. Which of these two positions do you agree with and why? Give reasons and specific details to support your opinion.

Some people believe the computer revolution has been only beneficial to society, and some say it's a drawback. I think it's beneficial because the progress the media and the world have made since the invention, has been tremendous and I'll explain why.

Firstly, the computer, followed by the internet, has opened the people's minds and opportunities regarding news, development, technology, society and more. Today, if you need to obtain certain information about a place you plan on going, school you want to attend, and a person you're searching for, all you need to do is log on the internet and you can find it there. In today's world where information is so attainable and accessible people are not afraid to try things and learn.

Secondly, with so much information and events happening around the world, it's a great thing to be able to follow information from thousands of miles away. Back in the days, to get information about India you'd have to be there or wait days or weeks from someone who's been there to tell you. Today, with the internet, you know what's happening anywhere, anytime; and that is power. Knowledge is power.

Thirdly, in today's fast world "time is money", therefore, when people access the internet, they know it'll only take them a few seconds to retrieve the information they need in "no-time". If it's regarding stocks in our high-tech world, housing, jobs, something you need to buy, you can apply and get what you need in a matter of minutes.

In conclusion, I believe the world had only benefit from the computers, and in the near future I believe every person will have one.

[Vuralorion]

Hi yifat. I think your essay is quite clear and fluent and there is no reason to worry about your writing. It seems you are good at it. I am not a rater or English teacher but I think you will obtain a score above average even we may say high. So just relax and it is going to be alright By the way I am also taking TOEFL at Nov 9. Can you please criticize my posted essays.

[Yifat]

Thank you sooo much! that was so kind of you to take your time and write back a response....i will take a look at yours and let you know, but i'm not an expert so i'll try to give you my best opinion...take care till then...